They don green shorts, shrieking like girls. Oh well, maybe not all of them. I suppose it's partially because I'm a feminist and they are boys. Immature, irritating and rude.
We do have a lot of complaints from my class mates and school mates about them.
1. "Some of them went, 'Ai yah, those *insert my school name* girls so slow, like rich tai-tais... No wonder the queue is so long. Don't talk to them.' "
Is it our fault? I mean, the queue was just so long. I don't see the reason why we could possibly be hogging the queue when in that particular queue, there were only two of us. Also, why the discrimination? If the queue is long, please don't blame us. Have a little patience and wait. Is it really that urgent? Do you really need to eat immediately or else you would die? I think not, since you still have the energy to push the blame to us. If you are so spoilt and pampered, please go and learn some manners and do not jump to conclusions.
2. "Every time they see us, they will go, 'Don't talk to them'"
What is this anti-social behaviour? I mean, we haven't committed any of the serious offences that is so horrible that you condemn us? How can you be so mean? Aren't we all equal. I wouldn't mind if you did not bother us, but even saying these hurtful words out loud, isn't that so insensitive of you? Come on, we are just humans of a different gender. What is it that makes you think that we are unapproachable? Is it because you think we study too much and are too arrogant? Please, drop that attitude and instead of hiding behind your friends, come and get to know us better. You are labelling us!
3. "They said, 'Those *F-word* girls.' when they saw us."
What is with the swear word? It's not a nice word, nor a compliment, so keep it to yourself! This just goes to show how immature and rude you are. It also reflects badly on your character. Is it a must that you must say this word to us? Stop being so childish. If you don't even know the word but think it is cool to say, please drop that frame of thinking. And if you do know the meaning and you mean it, why are you saying such things about us? We have not done anything to anger you, have we? Do you really hate us so much that you just had to say it? Or is it just plain stereotyping? Grow up!
4. "When they were on the pyramid (height element), they were unfriendly; they started shaking the ropes, as though they did not see us climbing up."
Why are you shaking the ropes that we use for support? Is it part of your nature to be so evil. It is quite high from the ground and if we do fall, are you going to answer? It is also very dangerous. That just proves how playful and irresponsible you are. Before you even do anything, do you even consider the consequences? We all just want to play. Do you have to be so selfish and mean to hog up all the space at the top of the pyramid? Also, when we did not slide down fast enough, you simply snapped, 'Hurry up!' Does the playground belong to you? It is for the general public to share. I do not think that we purposely hogged up all the space on the slide, nor prolong the moment. Also, it was said that you put sand on the slide such that some of our classmates, when they were going down the slide, sand got into their pants. Have some consideration!
All together, this experience was fun, excluding the parts wherein those GREEN things were simply acting like childish, immature, rude and inconsiderate 12 year-olds. Please do grow up and mature, just as we are the same age as you are, we seem to be more sensible towards you and we do not act hostile towards you. And for those who were more sensible, please do not be offended by this post unless you are part of those rude ones.
Monday 31 October 2011
Saturday 29 October 2011
I love you
The special three words, something so unique. However, it is always turned down by the pupils in my class. It does draw a certain amount of shock and the responses are always so predictable. When I yelled the words out to a very good friend, she immediately was taken aback and had both eyebrows raised. As I patted my 'granddaughter''s head and whispered the words out, she shrieked, "EEP!" and later said, "I'm not lesbian." When I smiled and spoke the words to my 'daughter', she scowled and replied, "I'm not lesbian."
It hurt to feel immediate rejection; love is just such a simple term, why should everyone immediately link that to relationships? Can't we love our parents, our kins, our friends? I suppose they just didn't understand. After all, those three words are to show how we admired or cherished the friends, weren't they? Sure, they could be romantically involved, but it just seems so weird to link those three words together with such things every single time.
Also, when I gave my friend a birthday hug, I could feel shock from another person. As I left, I could hear the birthday girl explaining, "It's just a hug." Why are we so isolated from the gestures used to express our friendship? Have we been too anti-social?
I love you, don't you?
It hurt to feel immediate rejection; love is just such a simple term, why should everyone immediately link that to relationships? Can't we love our parents, our kins, our friends? I suppose they just didn't understand. After all, those three words are to show how we admired or cherished the friends, weren't they? Sure, they could be romantically involved, but it just seems so weird to link those three words together with such things every single time.
Also, when I gave my friend a birthday hug, I could feel shock from another person. As I left, I could hear the birthday girl explaining, "It's just a hug." Why are we so isolated from the gestures used to express our friendship? Have we been too anti-social?
I love you, don't you?
Eww... I'm not--
Love can be used to express how you cherish someone. Don't you love your parents?
Yeah...
Nevermind.
Friday 28 October 2011
A shopping experience @ Comics Connection
Kyah! Why are the Angry Birds plushies so expensive? And where are the English versions for this? Where's the rabbit plushie that used to be here? Ugh, K-pop. Hatsune Miku! Kyah! ...The animation doesn't look very nice... Hmm... I wonder if she'd like this... Ah well, I suppose she could get the Japanese version! This might enourage her to learn Japanese and stop her GREEK! ...Is this PG-rated? I've never seen the anime before but people say it's nice... Whoa. This looks gross... But it's a good story... Should I buy this for her? But she's stronger than a pile of jelly... But it looks disgusting... I don't want to freak her out... Hmm... Eh! This looks cute! I see no Greek here... Does she like Jolin Tsai? Ah! Cats! I should get one for her...
It was more of a rebellious trip, having deceived my dad that I was going to the library, but later confessing to him :D Well, it was so filled with many anime that I had never watched before. There were also pictures of K-pop idols, poker cards, Naruto figurines and of course, Angry Birds. The book titles were in Chinese and English, some Japanese. The plushies were so cute! Kyah! I wanted to cuddle them! But the cashier was staring...
In the end, I got some really useful and cool items, though a little expensive, for my 'sisters'! Anticipate! Ha! I hope you gurls will like it! And don't dump it into the bin, cos I spent most of my savings to buy it... :D
It was more of a rebellious trip, having deceived my dad that I was going to the library, but later confessing to him :D Well, it was so filled with many anime that I had never watched before. There were also pictures of K-pop idols, poker cards, Naruto figurines and of course, Angry Birds. The book titles were in Chinese and English, some Japanese. The plushies were so cute! Kyah! I wanted to cuddle them! But the cashier was staring...
In the end, I got some really useful and cool items, though a little expensive, for my 'sisters'! Anticipate! Ha! I hope you gurls will like it! And don't dump it into the bin, cos I spent most of my savings to buy it... :D
Thursday 27 October 2011
cracked mirrors
Idiotic. I really am.
Even as I try hard to find another chance, a slim hope, something, just a glimmer of light. I dig in the bare soil, deeper, deeper, my heart still aching with the wish. It throbbed, continuously, and even though I had experienced that sour, bitter feeling for many times, it still bit into my heart mercilessly, soaking the palpitating red organ and leaving a scar etched so deeply. The acidic feeling was horribly painful, bringing tears to my eyes.
At last, I am forced to admit that the treasure I have been looking for was never there. The simple realisation left me slumped to the ground. My hands were sore with blisters, my fingernails cracked and bleeding. The physical pain was masked by emotional pain, as I forced myself to stop being weak.
I'm just so damn tired.
I'm an idiot, now that I think about it.
Even as I try hard to find another chance, a slim hope, something, just a glimmer of light. I dig in the bare soil, deeper, deeper, my heart still aching with the wish. It throbbed, continuously, and even though I had experienced that sour, bitter feeling for many times, it still bit into my heart mercilessly, soaking the palpitating red organ and leaving a scar etched so deeply. The acidic feeling was horribly painful, bringing tears to my eyes.
At last, I am forced to admit that the treasure I have been looking for was never there. The simple realisation left me slumped to the ground. My hands were sore with blisters, my fingernails cracked and bleeding. The physical pain was masked by emotional pain, as I forced myself to stop being weak.
I'm just so damn tired.
I'm an idiot, now that I think about it.
Tuesday 25 October 2011
As though I could see your face
Act 1
You hastily stand up, so does your partner. Although the air-conditionals are turned on to full blast, the few of us are perspiring hard; probably due to the fact that we arrived late from gym. I, as usual, take a head-count and sigh. 'Six,' I think to myself. "We're short of one," I announce, remarking the obvious. They nod their heads in unison and in synch, we turn to you. Scratch that. They turn to you. I stubbornly looked away, searching the class for another option. After all, we couldn't seperate you, right? She gestures towards you and you whip your head away from us, squatting down while she smiled sheepishly.
As though I could see your face, I knew that disappointment would be one of the emotions painted there.
Act 2
I talk into the phone, try to end the conversation, before casually taking a peek at you. You were balancing your head on your fist, looking extremely bored. I shift my gaze back immediately to prevent suspicion, and laugh, catching up with the conversation that I never participated in. I twist my hair in a very unnatural way, nod blankly, trying to be absorbed in the uninteresting chatter of words that passed around us. I shift the sling of my bag up my shoulder for more comfort and place a fist to my chest, my other hand clutching onto my mobile phone. And then she smiles, nudging me.
As though I could see your face, the thought of you anticipating me, waiting for me, made me nervous. It was an absurd idea, something so tall. I felt my heart pumping anxiously, with every of its beat followed along numbness. It was something that would only occur in a moment, that flying moment, with numbness, your brain stops functioning; You could only do everything based on instinct.
I allow myself to be pushed, but not without scowling at her. I lower my head, skipping towards you. Lifting my fist to bang on the glass to catch your attention, I realise that you have been watching. Stunned, I take a step back, trying to smile as I wave and point to myself then to the gate. You nod and waved back. I turned away and hurriedly walk past them, waving.
As though I could see your face, I could vividly sketch you out, with raised eyebrows-- using a thin pencil-- and sparkling eyes-- best with different types of pencil, or the way and weight used on the pencil to emphasise a difference, naturally with double eyelids or a single line below the eyes-- filled with amusement.
You hastily stand up, so does your partner. Although the air-conditionals are turned on to full blast, the few of us are perspiring hard; probably due to the fact that we arrived late from gym. I, as usual, take a head-count and sigh. 'Six,' I think to myself. "We're short of one," I announce, remarking the obvious. They nod their heads in unison and in synch, we turn to you. Scratch that. They turn to you. I stubbornly looked away, searching the class for another option. After all, we couldn't seperate you, right? She gestures towards you and you whip your head away from us, squatting down while she smiled sheepishly.
As though I could see your face, I knew that disappointment would be one of the emotions painted there.
Act 2
I talk into the phone, try to end the conversation, before casually taking a peek at you. You were balancing your head on your fist, looking extremely bored. I shift my gaze back immediately to prevent suspicion, and laugh, catching up with the conversation that I never participated in. I twist my hair in a very unnatural way, nod blankly, trying to be absorbed in the uninteresting chatter of words that passed around us. I shift the sling of my bag up my shoulder for more comfort and place a fist to my chest, my other hand clutching onto my mobile phone. And then she smiles, nudging me.
As though I could see your face, the thought of you anticipating me, waiting for me, made me nervous. It was an absurd idea, something so tall. I felt my heart pumping anxiously, with every of its beat followed along numbness. It was something that would only occur in a moment, that flying moment, with numbness, your brain stops functioning; You could only do everything based on instinct.
I allow myself to be pushed, but not without scowling at her. I lower my head, skipping towards you. Lifting my fist to bang on the glass to catch your attention, I realise that you have been watching. Stunned, I take a step back, trying to smile as I wave and point to myself then to the gate. You nod and waved back. I turned away and hurriedly walk past them, waving.
As though I could see your face, I could vividly sketch you out, with raised eyebrows-- using a thin pencil-- and sparkling eyes-- best with different types of pencil, or the way and weight used on the pencil to emphasise a difference, naturally with double eyelids or a single line below the eyes-- filled with amusement.
Monday 17 October 2011
Paradise-- Coldplay
I don't know this feeling,
Something so deeply rooted,
So strong and full of life.
Is this paradise?
~~~
"Love, my dear child, love."
I looked up at Grandma, who merely smiled, showing all of her wrinkles. I crinkled my nose but tried to smile too. I sat in Grandma's lap, hugging her back as she patted my head. I could feel the warmth from her body. I looked back at the wooden door and heard Angie's sobs issuing from within. I shook my head and then glanced up at Grandma, who was whistling a tune. Our tune.
I hugged Grandma tighter and breathed in the scent of tomato soup coming from her body. I liked tomato soup. Grandma continued to pat my head and later whispered,
"Andrea, you will know it when you experience it..."
I frowned at her, displaing my cutest pout as I protested. She laughed, and that sound was like those of wind chimes, reverberating in the calm, gentle breeze. Grandma nodded astutely and wagged her index finger. She repeated,'
"You will know it when you experience it..."
Angie came out of the room, her hair tangled and her whole body posture slackened. Her eyes were puffy and red, telling tales of crying. Tear tracks glistened on her cheeks, as she raised a shaky hand to wipe them away. She looked away, embarrassed as she mumbled,
"I'm going to get a drink."
Her voice was not its usual soprano, cheery-like. Instead, she sounded like a thousand-year-old person. What terrified me was the sight of her dulled, hollowed eyes that didn't sparkle as they would usually. She looked nothing but an empty shell, hope escaping through the cracks, leaving despair to take its place. I shuddered.
Waiting till she was gone, I complained to Grandma,
"If that is love, I don't want it."
Grandma shook her head and lapsed into thoughtful silence.
~~~
But the pain that tortures us,
Alone on a stormy night,
Hurtful words that were flung across the room,
Our anger blinding us.
The terror that made me crumble,
Into tiny bits as I fell.
Is it still paradise?
Is it still paradise?
~~~
"I know it... It's love, isn't it?" I mumbled excitedly, trying not to show my blush.
Angie laughed and patted my head. She nodded, proving me right. My heart leapt. Love! Oh, what a strong and beautiful word that masks the deeper emotion, so fragile. I was dancing then, nature's rhythm of love coarsing through the entire room. Angie chuckled and jumped up to join me, as we twirled.
My bones felt hollowed like a bird's, my feathers tickling me as I giggled childishly. Every twirl only served to make me dizzy, but it was pure ecstacy; I needed to express the excitement, the anticipation in my heart that made me swell with happiness. Love, love, love! What an interesting word it was to me!
I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sunlight, so warm and comforting. The yellow rays turned my hair redish. It was a fairytale, so simple and lasting. Grandma was watching me from the bedroom door, nodding in understanding.
Nothing could go wrong.
~~~
No, of course it could never erase
The existence of our heavenly memories,
Your youthful smile
And my childish giggle.
Your hand in mine,
Under the moonlight,
We twirled and sang
Songs from our hearts,
Lo and behold!
The majestic power of such a simple word and emotion,
'I honour you', alas, you bowed.
'And so they lived happily ever after'.
~~~
And dreamed of
para-para, paradise,
para-para, paradise,
para-para, paradise,
~~~
As such, you enchanted me,
With the thoughts of paradise,
Our love that shone from within,
I was in paradise.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Gosh. I wrote this on a whim. But the song's nice, right? I heard that this MAY be the last album, Mylo Xyloto, but I hope not. :D Oh... I hope this made sense...
Signing off,
Ollie :D
Saturday 15 October 2011
IPOD Shuffle Quiz :D --Every Teardrop is a Waterfall
IPOD shuffle quizzes!
Rules:
1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! - Editor
1) What is your motto?
Impossible-- Maddi Jane version ... Wow. I never knew I was so pessimistic. *Raises eyebrows*
2) What do your friends think about you?
Viva La Vida-- Coldplay ... So they think me as a king who used to rule the world (heheheh) but then I got dethroned and stuff TT^TT... Anyway, that's my favourite song! Long Live Life! :D
3) What do you think most often?
Collide-- Howie Day ... MY NEXT FAVOURITE SONG! That I often bang into stuff? Well, that's unusual. Also refer to post named Collide.
4) What is 2+2?
World is Mine-- Miku Hatsune ... That's what I'm gonna do if my teacher ever asks me that question. Anyway, that's illogical, but I'm the number one princess in the world! ^^
5) What do you think of your best friend?
Spice! -- Len Kagamine .... nononononononono! That's impossible! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And I don't have a best friend. :D
6) What do you think about the person you like?
If I die young-- The Band Perry ... If I ever die young... But that song's based on the poem, The Lady of Shalott (Or something like that)... Go google it! :D
7) What is your life story?
Melt-- Miku Hatsune ... So I'm melting. I thought I was crumbling like toufu... *Raises eyebrows*
8) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cantarella-- Miku Hatsune and KAITO ... ... Someone who likes another person, then drinks the poison, gets raped... EWW. NO WAY. I'd slice him with a pizza cutter :D
9) What do you think when you see the person you like?
Just the way you are-- Bruno Mars ... Finally, a decent answer. But yeah. I start going all crazy about his smile, eyes, bleh. O.o?
10) What do your parents think of you?
Party Rock Anthem-- By some band. I am too lazy to search. :D ... No. Just no. I can't shuffle.
11) What will you dance at your wedding?
Luka Luka Night Fever-- Megurine Luka ... That's cool! Infect everyone with your deadly disease! MUHAHAH... *cough**hack**wheeze**cough*... *dies* :D
12) What will they play at your funeral?
I refuse (Okotowari shimasu)-- Miku Hatsune ... I REFUSE TO BE DEAD! MUHAHAHA! I'M GETTING OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!!! Maybe not.
13) What is your hobby/interest?
Magnet-- Miku Hatsune and Megurine Luka ... NO! My interest is to get involved in a relationship that is forbidden?... NO.
14) What is your biggest secret?
Too Little Too Late-- Jojo ... My biggest secret is that I got cheated by a guy but then he wants to apologise and stuff?
15) What do you think of your friends?
Apologize-- Onerepublic ... IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE! MUHAHAHA! FACE MY WRATH! ... Illogical.
16) What is the worst thing that could happen?
Jar of Hearts-- Christina Perri ... Umm... The worst thing that could happen is a guy who broke my heart? Nah, maybe when the world runs out of cotton candy.
17) How will you die?
Just A Kiss-- Lady Antebellum ... Wow. I die because my crush gives me a kiss goodnight and I die of heart attack? That is interesting.
18) What is the one thing you will regret?
Enchanted-- Taylor Swift ... I regret meeting you and being enchanted by you? I think I would regret doing this quiz.
19) What makes you laugh?
Fragile Snow-- SF-A2 Miki ... No, it doesn't! It's a nice and soothing song. :D
20) What makes you cry?
Rolling in the deep-- Adele ... Yeah, Adele's music is nice. And the lyrics mean that someone betrayed you. But I don't cry when I listen to it.
21) Will you ever get married?
Set fire to the rain-- Adele ... And get betrayed as the guy runs away... Or maybe I will run away. :D
22) What scares you the most?
Someone like you-- Adele ... HAHAHA. Someone like the person who created this weird quiz...
23) Does anyone like you?
Romeo and Cinderella-- Miku Hatsune ... ooh, sure, just that I kill the person in the end.
24) If you could go back in time, what would change?
Ai Kotoba-- Miku Hatsune ... I would change the fact that someone helped me? Nah, most probably change the presence of examinations.
25) What hurts right now?
Miku's Rain-- Miku Hatsune ... It's a sad song. But it doesn't hurt...
26) What will you post this as?
Every Teardrop is a waterfall --Coldplay ... Sighs. The world would have flooded by then. Still, nice song!
Yours sarcastically,
Ollie :D
Rules:
1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! - Editor
1) What is your motto?
Impossible-- Maddi Jane version ... Wow. I never knew I was so pessimistic. *Raises eyebrows*
2) What do your friends think about you?
Viva La Vida-- Coldplay ... So they think me as a king who used to rule the world (heheheh) but then I got dethroned and stuff TT^TT... Anyway, that's my favourite song! Long Live Life! :D
3) What do you think most often?
Collide-- Howie Day ... MY NEXT FAVOURITE SONG! That I often bang into stuff? Well, that's unusual. Also refer to post named Collide.
4) What is 2+2?
World is Mine-- Miku Hatsune ... That's what I'm gonna do if my teacher ever asks me that question. Anyway, that's illogical, but I'm the number one princess in the world! ^^
5) What do you think of your best friend?
Spice! -- Len Kagamine .... nononononononono! That's impossible! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And I don't have a best friend. :D
6) What do you think about the person you like?
If I die young-- The Band Perry ... If I ever die young... But that song's based on the poem, The Lady of Shalott (Or something like that)... Go google it! :D
7) What is your life story?
Melt-- Miku Hatsune ... So I'm melting. I thought I was crumbling like toufu... *Raises eyebrows*
8) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cantarella-- Miku Hatsune and KAITO ... ... Someone who likes another person, then drinks the poison, gets raped... EWW. NO WAY. I'd slice him with a pizza cutter :D
9) What do you think when you see the person you like?
Just the way you are-- Bruno Mars ... Finally, a decent answer. But yeah. I start going all crazy about his smile, eyes, bleh. O.o?
10) What do your parents think of you?
Party Rock Anthem-- By some band. I am too lazy to search. :D ... No. Just no. I can't shuffle.
11) What will you dance at your wedding?
Luka Luka Night Fever-- Megurine Luka ... That's cool! Infect everyone with your deadly disease! MUHAHAH... *cough**hack**wheeze**cough*... *dies* :D
12) What will they play at your funeral?
I refuse (Okotowari shimasu)-- Miku Hatsune ... I REFUSE TO BE DEAD! MUHAHAHA! I'M GETTING OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!!! Maybe not.
13) What is your hobby/interest?
Magnet-- Miku Hatsune and Megurine Luka ... NO! My interest is to get involved in a relationship that is forbidden?... NO.
14) What is your biggest secret?
Too Little Too Late-- Jojo ... My biggest secret is that I got cheated by a guy but then he wants to apologise and stuff?
15) What do you think of your friends?
Apologize-- Onerepublic ... IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE! MUHAHAHA! FACE MY WRATH! ... Illogical.
16) What is the worst thing that could happen?
Jar of Hearts-- Christina Perri ... Umm... The worst thing that could happen is a guy who broke my heart? Nah, maybe when the world runs out of cotton candy.
17) How will you die?
Just A Kiss-- Lady Antebellum ... Wow. I die because my crush gives me a kiss goodnight and I die of heart attack? That is interesting.
18) What is the one thing you will regret?
Enchanted-- Taylor Swift ... I regret meeting you and being enchanted by you? I think I would regret doing this quiz.
19) What makes you laugh?
Fragile Snow-- SF-A2 Miki ... No, it doesn't! It's a nice and soothing song. :D
20) What makes you cry?
Rolling in the deep-- Adele ... Yeah, Adele's music is nice. And the lyrics mean that someone betrayed you. But I don't cry when I listen to it.
21) Will you ever get married?
Set fire to the rain-- Adele ... And get betrayed as the guy runs away... Or maybe I will run away. :D
22) What scares you the most?
Someone like you-- Adele ... HAHAHA. Someone like the person who created this weird quiz...
23) Does anyone like you?
Romeo and Cinderella-- Miku Hatsune ... ooh, sure, just that I kill the person in the end.
24) If you could go back in time, what would change?
Ai Kotoba-- Miku Hatsune ... I would change the fact that someone helped me? Nah, most probably change the presence of examinations.
25) What hurts right now?
Miku's Rain-- Miku Hatsune ... It's a sad song. But it doesn't hurt...
26) What will you post this as?
Every Teardrop is a waterfall --Coldplay ... Sighs. The world would have flooded by then. Still, nice song!
Yours sarcastically,
Ollie :D
Tuesday 11 October 2011
11 October 2011
Sigh. What am I doing? I have totally no idea at all. It kind of bugs me, how I should be feeling sad, but I feel numbed anyway. Maybe I have mastered the art of numbing my feelings. :D
I stare at your back for a long time, wishing, hoping with all my heart that I would just be able to catch sight of you. Stalker-like much, no? Well, back to the point. I stare again, this time, tilting my head slightly downwards and pretending to be engaged in the phone conversation. I look up and see you staring. Right in front of you is another friend. She smiles and I too smile aimlessly back, not sure if I'm smiling to you or her. I fold my other arm across my stomach, still hesitating as I press the phone closer to my ear, ignoring the irritating buzzing sound that meant that it was still dialing. I get distracted for a while, trying not to think about you. I look up and see that you have disappeared from my point of view. I speak carelessly into the phone, murmuring the usual phrase; "Are you picking me up? No? Okay, I'll go home by myself."
The other friend bids you goodbye, looking very enthusiastic and waving happily, giggling. I sigh, still hesitating. The truth is that I don't know how to face you yet, since we haven't really been on speaking terms these days. You are leaving, and you turn back to wave once more. I bite my lip and hesitate, before raising a shaking hand and somewhat waving you goodbye. I turn to leave, trying not to trip over all the bags. On my way out, I hope you weren't somewhat offended by my attitude. The fact was that I didn't know how to face you, since we rarely had any topics to talk about and the only exchange that we had was just a smile when you turned back. My smile was confused and hurt, but I didn't know. You pressed your lips into a single line, looking as though you were smiling, but I didn't know. You turned back away and I can finally breathe.
I should be more sociable, more friendly, since this is our last year and the last time to create more memories. But being like a Cancer, I was just too hesitant, too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again. So like the coward I was, I merely glanced out of my protective windows, hugging my plushie tight to my chest, to cover up the hole that had been burnt there.
I'm scared; I really want you to know my thoughts, but I'm afraid you would be disgusted, or even hate me. So I'm trying to seal up the cracked windows with wooden boards, locking myself in my fortress, free from sadness and disappointment, but also pushing out happiness and excitement.
I like to write in present tense, even though it isn't grammatically right. So there :D That was such a touching story, something I think I can relate to at certain points. Taken from parts of my dream and mixed up with reality and a dab of my imagination. But seriously, most of it is real.
I stare at your back for a long time, wishing, hoping with all my heart that I would just be able to catch sight of you. Stalker-like much, no? Well, back to the point. I stare again, this time, tilting my head slightly downwards and pretending to be engaged in the phone conversation. I look up and see you staring. Right in front of you is another friend. She smiles and I too smile aimlessly back, not sure if I'm smiling to you or her. I fold my other arm across my stomach, still hesitating as I press the phone closer to my ear, ignoring the irritating buzzing sound that meant that it was still dialing. I get distracted for a while, trying not to think about you. I look up and see that you have disappeared from my point of view. I speak carelessly into the phone, murmuring the usual phrase; "Are you picking me up? No? Okay, I'll go home by myself."
The other friend bids you goodbye, looking very enthusiastic and waving happily, giggling. I sigh, still hesitating. The truth is that I don't know how to face you yet, since we haven't really been on speaking terms these days. You are leaving, and you turn back to wave once more. I bite my lip and hesitate, before raising a shaking hand and somewhat waving you goodbye. I turn to leave, trying not to trip over all the bags. On my way out, I hope you weren't somewhat offended by my attitude. The fact was that I didn't know how to face you, since we rarely had any topics to talk about and the only exchange that we had was just a smile when you turned back. My smile was confused and hurt, but I didn't know. You pressed your lips into a single line, looking as though you were smiling, but I didn't know. You turned back away and I can finally breathe.
I should be more sociable, more friendly, since this is our last year and the last time to create more memories. But being like a Cancer, I was just too hesitant, too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again. So like the coward I was, I merely glanced out of my protective windows, hugging my plushie tight to my chest, to cover up the hole that had been burnt there.
I'm scared; I really want you to know my thoughts, but I'm afraid you would be disgusted, or even hate me. So I'm trying to seal up the cracked windows with wooden boards, locking myself in my fortress, free from sadness and disappointment, but also pushing out happiness and excitement.
I like to write in present tense, even though it isn't grammatically right. So there :D That was such a touching story, something I think I can relate to at certain points. Taken from parts of my dream and mixed up with reality and a dab of my imagination. But seriously, most of it is real.
Saturday 8 October 2011
My view on the Youtube video of Kids React to Hatsune Miku
I am irritated. It feels so horrible and I feel like it's eating me up. Yes, you are humans, so you have your own rights, freedom of speech. I kept telling myself that, "They are just a bunch of ignorant kids... They know nothing at all, nothing." But it made me feel worse. Look, the oldest was around, I don't know, fifteen or sixteen?
I quote,
"These are fake! I don't think those people watching should... they should get their money back."
The people paid for the tickets knowing that she was an android. Fake? In what sense? In the sense that she isn't human? Do you know that those outbursts of yours will cause the creators to be upset or angered? How insensitive are you? Besides, those people have their own choice. Why are you telling them what they should do when they have already made their own choice?
"People want to see that? But she's not even real!"
"Oh my gosh, it's an anime character! Oh my gosh! I'm going to faint!"
You are over exaggerating. Look, what you are doing now is mocking the people's intelligence. Are you trying to say that all of them are cheering because of the fact that she's "an anime character"? That is insulting. This can also be counted as forcing your train of thoughts on others. So if you would very much hate (Please understand the importance and impact of this word) watching androids sing and perform, are you meaning to say that other people shouldn't be watching them perform too?
"Machines shouldn't be popstars! Just no! No!"
That is very much exaggerating. Who are you to condemn them? Does the world revolve around you? I think not. There may be people who actually appreciate their music, unlike you. You are so quick to actually object to the idea that it makes me wonder if you actually think it through.
"You can't be a fan of it! It doesn't exist!"
"She's not real! How could I be a fan of her if she's not real?"
These statements seem so hypocritical to me. It's the same as being a fan of a book character, like Harry Potter. Some may argue that the author, J.K. Rowling is real, but in the end, they end up being a fan of the character instead of the creators. And how can you be so fast to demand that no one can be a fan of this production when people have their own thoughts and own rights?
"She's not a real person, this isn't real music, I don't want to listen to it."
Is there a difference in music? Music is something that touches deep inside of your heart, to evoke some kind of emotion. Real music and fake? Is there even a difference? You are just being bias and judgemental because the singer isn't a real person. But still, the person who wrote the song is real. So if that piece of music was given to a real life human to sing, would you immediately refuse it? I think not.
When the question, "If you found out that your favourite singer, or band, was all computer-generated, would that change how you feel about them?"
"I'd probably cry."
"That would be horrible."
See, those people who were interviewed were actually objecting to the idea of having computer-generated singers. Does it matter? If they didn't know that the person they were listening to was an android, they would not be so quick to be prejudiced. Does this mean that they do not have an open mind?
Fake? Sure, it is a computer-edited programme, but if you are mature enough, and you should be as you are like, fifteen, don't you know well enough that you are being filmed and that video is going to be watched by millions of people around the world? I may be bias, but I find it completely unfair. Who are they to judge the Vocaloid and condemn it just because they aren't real?
This video was infuriating, but then again, I feel as though I am arguing on the base that I am actually a fan of their music. Thus this may be rather offensive to me. Some people may share the same view as them, so I have no right to control what they think. I just want to remind the people reading that whatever you say, as long as it will be released to the entire world (or not), please take on a more mature stand-point and not restrict yourselves to just one frame of thought.
I may have been contradictory in my own review, but then again, freedom of choice. Sigh. Ollie, don't get so worked up over these small, unimportant matters. Sigh.
For now, I need to eat a tuna sandwich :D
I quote,
"These are fake! I don't think those people watching should... they should get their money back."
The people paid for the tickets knowing that she was an android. Fake? In what sense? In the sense that she isn't human? Do you know that those outbursts of yours will cause the creators to be upset or angered? How insensitive are you? Besides, those people have their own choice. Why are you telling them what they should do when they have already made their own choice?
"People want to see that? But she's not even real!"
"Oh my gosh, it's an anime character! Oh my gosh! I'm going to faint!"
You are over exaggerating. Look, what you are doing now is mocking the people's intelligence. Are you trying to say that all of them are cheering because of the fact that she's "an anime character"? That is insulting. This can also be counted as forcing your train of thoughts on others. So if you would very much hate (Please understand the importance and impact of this word) watching androids sing and perform, are you meaning to say that other people shouldn't be watching them perform too?
"Machines shouldn't be popstars! Just no! No!"
That is very much exaggerating. Who are you to condemn them? Does the world revolve around you? I think not. There may be people who actually appreciate their music, unlike you. You are so quick to actually object to the idea that it makes me wonder if you actually think it through.
"You can't be a fan of it! It doesn't exist!"
"She's not real! How could I be a fan of her if she's not real?"
These statements seem so hypocritical to me. It's the same as being a fan of a book character, like Harry Potter. Some may argue that the author, J.K. Rowling is real, but in the end, they end up being a fan of the character instead of the creators. And how can you be so fast to demand that no one can be a fan of this production when people have their own thoughts and own rights?
"She's not a real person, this isn't real music, I don't want to listen to it."
Is there a difference in music? Music is something that touches deep inside of your heart, to evoke some kind of emotion. Real music and fake? Is there even a difference? You are just being bias and judgemental because the singer isn't a real person. But still, the person who wrote the song is real. So if that piece of music was given to a real life human to sing, would you immediately refuse it? I think not.
When the question, "If you found out that your favourite singer, or band, was all computer-generated, would that change how you feel about them?"
"I'd probably cry."
"That would be horrible."
See, those people who were interviewed were actually objecting to the idea of having computer-generated singers. Does it matter? If they didn't know that the person they were listening to was an android, they would not be so quick to be prejudiced. Does this mean that they do not have an open mind?
Fake? Sure, it is a computer-edited programme, but if you are mature enough, and you should be as you are like, fifteen, don't you know well enough that you are being filmed and that video is going to be watched by millions of people around the world? I may be bias, but I find it completely unfair. Who are they to judge the Vocaloid and condemn it just because they aren't real?
This video was infuriating, but then again, I feel as though I am arguing on the base that I am actually a fan of their music. Thus this may be rather offensive to me. Some people may share the same view as them, so I have no right to control what they think. I just want to remind the people reading that whatever you say, as long as it will be released to the entire world (or not), please take on a more mature stand-point and not restrict yourselves to just one frame of thought.
I may have been contradictory in my own review, but then again, freedom of choice. Sigh. Ollie, don't get so worked up over these small, unimportant matters. Sigh.
For now, I need to eat a tuna sandwich :D
Friday 7 October 2011
Five Steps --Dedicated to Pikachu :D
First Step.
“Life is cruel, isn’t it?”
Those were the very first words you spoke to me, your voice barely a whisper as we trudged out of the tunnel, the reverberating echoes trailing behind. The light was blinding and warm, after so many years of darkness, icy flailing fingers waving about, hovering like a lost soul. You simply smiled when I asked you why, and for once, I thought I could see the knowledge accumulated over the years in your eyes, vast and brown. Warmth, I thought immediately. Like a leading hand, I grasped onto you for support, even though my weight kept you down, you continued to march on, confident as you strode forward, occasionally looking back at my fragile, pitiful and pathetic frame.
“Come on.”
Second Step.
I could see a mirror of my weak frame in your clouded eyes. You were worn out, physically, mentally and emotionally. I was still as young and naïve, clutching onto your black blouse as I stared up. I thought I could see something hidden behind the happiness, but no, you kept it well, a secret. Sometimes I would catch you looking at me, as if unsatisfied and curious. You would seem to hide a deeper meaning within your words, laced with sarcasm. Was there empathy, too?
“Yeah, two peas in a pod.”
I could never understand why you would use that phrase, of how different we were. You, the confident, astute, beautiful and courageous adult that would appear to solve every problem, not hesitant or agitated. You were always masked with composure and calmness, something I could never imitate. How could you be compared to a small child, immature and childish, ugly in more than one way and so timid, afraid of the dark, everything? I did not understand, not at that time.
Third Step.
The first time I saw you cry.
You were huddled at the corner of your dimly-lit bedroom, sobbing uncontrollably, and tears leaking out. I wondered if I were dreaming, how could someone so strong break down? Apparently you had snapped, for once, your frame shaking, eyes red. I stood in the doorway, staring, hugging my pillow, afraid. You looked up, saw me, and stumbled forward. Shock filled me, robbing me of my speech. You were always so graceful, prancing across the room, but this time, I thought I could see the lost child in you, reappearing. You stumbled and fell into my arms, my frail borders of fence. I felt like a grown up, our roles reversed. For that night, we hugged and cried.
I did not know why I cried, perhaps that my childish mind thought that something bad and evil was coming and it was horribly terrifying, because it caused you to cry. Now, if I were back in that situation again, I would understand why you cried and I would have cried with you again, this time, for different reasons. You were hanging on like a thin strand of rope, about to break anytime, and you were so tired of having to continually shine your bright and seemingly carefree smiles on us.
“It hurts.”
And I thought that the monster hurt you, so I tried to hold you back in one piece, to prevent you from crumbling.
Fourth Step.
You looked at the skies, as we sat on the balconies, and you laughed without humour, your eyes hollow as you stared out, and I imagined your beautiful soul slowly spreading its wings as it flew away. You had aged, mentally and emotionally. You were tired, so tired of everything. Even though you had a smile on your face, beneath that cool façade, you were sighing. You thought I could not see anything, but I could. Still, I pretended to be that young and innocent child. I stared blankly at you, then on impulse, reached out to hold your hand, to stop you from having silly thoughts.
“Oh, and you still haven’t grown up. Now, what monsters are chasing you, again?”
I had grown. But I kept a sheepish smile and shrugged. You scrutinised me with your eyes, suspicious of my actions. That was the second time I had such a long look at your hazel eyes. Now the sparkles had faded into the background, and your pupils were looking faraway, blank and unfocused. I could see pain arching out, slowly burning you in hell. I squeezed your hand and you sighed. You shut your eyes and smiled. I wondered what you were thinking about. As I thought more, my stomach contracted.
Fear seized me once again, and I squeezed your hand, to stop the monsters from coming again.
Last Step.
You’ve gone. I tried to hold you back from falling over the edge, but you merely smiled, something so real and stunning that I momentarily let go of your hand, and watched you crumble away into pieces, the ghost of your last laugh still on your face.
...
I saw another girl stuck in darkness and I am reminded of you and myself again. She is lost, desperately calling out for help, but is ignored by those around her. I walk up to her, wearing your black blouse and she stares at me, blankly. I smile, and the first words I say to her are,
“Life is cruel, isn’t it?”
_________________________________________________________________________________I love this :D It was written quite some time ago and it caused quite a stir in a small part of the class; Because I published it on my school blog and dedicated it to someone, so they started discussing on who it was... Ha. It feels kind of funny to watch them discuss it, yet not daring to ask me at all. I shall let them continue wondering who it is dedicated to. Actually, there was no meaning in dedicating it to the person, I just wrote it for fun, but there may be an underlying meaning behind it.. maybe... :D
Have fun reading, Pikachu :D
Collide
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
A light shining through
What seems to be daylight,
Or is it the end of the tunnel,
We've walked for so long,
Our thirst for light and hope makes us desperate,
You're barely wakingAnd I'm tangled up in you
Yeah
Are you ignorant of the many times
I have stared so longingly at you,
The times we walked through the darkness
With your hand in mine?
I don't know what to think now.
It hurts,
Your piercing smile of happiness
That doesn't reach to your hollowed eyes.
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Flash.
"We won't get out, will we?" I hear you say, slowly and softly.
I imagine a fear, a certain panic that was hidden behind your hoarse voice. But there was nothing at all, not even sadness. You were lost, your shoulders drooping, your head hung low. I could feel the stir of emotions rushing through you, as you masked it all with a cold, unfeeling face. I grabbed your hand and squeezed it.
"No, we will get out of here. We have to," I smiled, though you wouldn't see it, not in this darkness.
You shrugged, the very actions taking up a lot of your energy. What happened to you?
"C'mon. Let's hurry."
I literally dragged you over, trying to add a new spring in my steps, but you merely trudged along. You lost everything, your vigour, your smile, your cheerful attitude and the smile that I knew, that was so warm that it practically radiated the whole room you were in. I was afraid of losing the you I knew, your bubbly personality. Now you were a mere skeleton, with hollow eyes. I didn't want to lose you. No, never. With a desperate attempt, I squeezed your hand, as though it would squeeze some of the life back in you. I panicked, fear mocking at my very pathetic attempts.
Please. Smile again.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
"I'm not going to do it." I heard you speak, your uncertainty shaking your voice.
"You'll have to." I tried to put as much confidence as I could into my words.
"No. You can do it alone. I'll just drag you down."
"It was a mistake, just one tiny mistake!"
"You could have died at my failure."
"Don't be so melodramatic, please."
"I don't know," you sobbed.
I left the room, not knowing how to comfort you. Guilt tugged at my heart.
I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
I don't like to talk too much, you see. I'll say something wrong every time I open my mouth. You popped out of nowhere, into my strange and ordinary life. You made a great impression, your radiant smile that shone, piercing through the darkness. It made me smile, shivering at the same time. Was I really worthy of such a friend like you? I didn't know. I didn't want to think. I just wanted to bask in the warm smile that you gave me the first time we met.
We soon became great friends, but somehow I started doubting myself, having doubts about myself, if I really deserved you. You were really a great friend. I found myself analysing each and every movement or word that I did or spoke, hoping you wouldn't see through my lies. Pathetic. I wished you wouldn't have high expectations of me.
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind
I don't want to end this. Not now.
I know I'm not good enough, but I'll change! I'll do anything!
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
Too late.
__________________________________________________________________________________
This is my opinion on the song, Collide by Howie Day. It's really nice, but a little sad, in my opinion. Haha. I love this song. It just made me want to write about it. I hope my writing didn't suck. :D
Pencils
Pencils are so lovely. Each and every one of them is special, gives out a special feel that urges me to draw, anything on a piece of paper. A sharp pencil can be used to write, dancing across the paper with words. The words are etched onto the paper and even though it may be erased, the marks are still there. However, the lead breaks easily, thus the sharp pencil is deemed fragile in my opinion, so gentle yet harsh with its marks.
A blunt pencil can be used to sketch, the creases of the lines evident. The lines are bolded, light and yet soft. A finger that smoothens the line out smudges it, giving the whole sketch a different image, looking old but radiant. Although it dirties the finger, the feeling of the lead smudged onto the soft paper is something so beautiful that words cannot describe the feeling.
Pencils are not like pens. They seem elegant and simple, not sophisticated at all. Pens give a totally different feel to the user, as they seem less casual and relaxed. The ink of a pen does not give the user the satisfaction which is given by a pencil to sketch. The lines of the pencil may be erased, so simply. The best pencils are usually wooden, as they do not cut the paper like the mechanical ones. The lines drawn are light and soft. They are not dark grey but are of a lighter colour, a little like silver. Silver is not like grey. Silver is bright, less dull and shines a little due to the reflection of light.
The lines sketched by a pencil may be hesitant, light. Extra shading may be required to bolden the line. The shading of the shadows of a person makes the drawing seem a little more real. By smudging the lines together, a darker shadow is formed, highlighting the aspect where the shadow is shaded at.
I love to draw, using wooden pencils, shading in the thin collar bones of the person, then adding a soft touch of shadow below them. The pencil can be manipulated to draw thin and thick lines, sharp pencils used to emphasise on the eye lashes and the eyebrows are emphasised with a blunt pencil, the thick lines falling over one another. The pencil can also be used to shade in the eyes, creating different impacts with a darker tone and a lighter tone.
I love pencils.
A blunt pencil can be used to sketch, the creases of the lines evident. The lines are bolded, light and yet soft. A finger that smoothens the line out smudges it, giving the whole sketch a different image, looking old but radiant. Although it dirties the finger, the feeling of the lead smudged onto the soft paper is something so beautiful that words cannot describe the feeling.
Pencils are not like pens. They seem elegant and simple, not sophisticated at all. Pens give a totally different feel to the user, as they seem less casual and relaxed. The ink of a pen does not give the user the satisfaction which is given by a pencil to sketch. The lines of the pencil may be erased, so simply. The best pencils are usually wooden, as they do not cut the paper like the mechanical ones. The lines drawn are light and soft. They are not dark grey but are of a lighter colour, a little like silver. Silver is not like grey. Silver is bright, less dull and shines a little due to the reflection of light.
The lines sketched by a pencil may be hesitant, light. Extra shading may be required to bolden the line. The shading of the shadows of a person makes the drawing seem a little more real. By smudging the lines together, a darker shadow is formed, highlighting the aspect where the shadow is shaded at.
I love to draw, using wooden pencils, shading in the thin collar bones of the person, then adding a soft touch of shadow below them. The pencil can be manipulated to draw thin and thick lines, sharp pencils used to emphasise on the eye lashes and the eyebrows are emphasised with a blunt pencil, the thick lines falling over one another. The pencil can also be used to shade in the eyes, creating different impacts with a darker tone and a lighter tone.
I love pencils.
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