just trying something out here.

You know what.
I don't think it even works.

look at the stars, see how they shine for you.

Reading the horoscope for fun (the one in the newspapers) and laughing at how horrible it sounds, while feeling a secret pang of -- I don't know--guilt?
Because it seems like it's happening.

I'm not one to beleaf in horoscopes, only reading them for fun, but it's scaring me how familiar it seems. Maybe it's because it's a really general viewpoint?

• easily irritated
• having relationship problems
• confused
• health related problems

... derp.

I don't know. It sounds really negative. Maybe it only sounds familiar because I'm picking out what's in my life to compare to it. And thus it seems really true? Or a big part of my life?

It's interesting how they can make people beleaf in these things by just writing down some stuff. Do they read the stars? Or how? But then again. A star could have died already?

I mean that shooting stars are like a million years dead. I read it somewhere.

It's so interesting to read the horoscope. I don't really think I'm like a Cancer. Maybe a Gemini. But a Cancer sounds too... dead. Or too sensible. /shrugs

 

Let's see.

I'm supposed to be:

• Shrewd and cautious
• Moody all the time (more of mood swing, though)
• Have a vivid imagination
• shy. ._.
• Sentimental. (Sentiment is a chemical defect found on the losing side! :O)
• Protective
• Intuitive (?!)
• Clingy (This, I admit. I cling onto people randomly.)
• Emotional

Mkay. 

Oh yay! I rule over silvery blue. That's a nice colour.

Wait lemme search it up. Oh my, that is a pretty colour!

And I rule over the pearl, water lilies, lilies, white roses and the acanthus. 

That's a nice flower. It looks... like corn. But purple. Purple corn. 

I rule over the Moon and the crab. Ooh. Crab. 

This is so... interesting. It might be fun to read up on my horoscope.

After EOYs. 

I shall have to mug TT^TT

no i don't want to mug. mugging is a criminal offence. 

I'm fine--really. I'm okay. I'm just--yeah.

I'm fine, really. Sorry for scaring everyone during CCA.

I just don't take well whenever it rains. I suspect it's the rain, you know. Every time it rains, I get extreme, like bi-polar. That's not the reason, though. I know it's not the rain.

Yeah. I'm just a little bi-polar. It goes way more than that.

I'm sorry, really, if I've made all of you worried. I'm not angry at you. You guys are too nice to be angry at. I'm angry at myself. 

You know, the story challenge really takes its toll on me and every time after it, I get tired. Like, emotionally tired. I hate it, you know. But it's not the only thing adding to my emotional numbness.

I'm alright--I'm really fine. Seriously! You don't have to worry, even though the hugs were really nice. I'm okay. I'm just--I think it's just the weather. I'm scared that I'll go back to slight depression again. I don't want to.

The batch tee is just--can we wait till after EOY? Because--like Eilun/someone else says, we can't really do much and I think it's better to like, study for EOY first-- to concentrate on it first. I don't need a second source of frustration, anyway.

So there. It's alright, kay :) thanks for all your concern. I didn't want to bother you. I'll try to keep my emotions in check next time.

I think the batch tee is pulling us apart.
Instead of 'unifying' all of us.

one-shot on Johnlock~ :D

I should be getting on with exhibition research and crap but I'm not in the mood to examine every single line of Edgar Allan Poe's lovely scholarly poem.

Chews on mango pudding.
I like pudding.

Now I shall gather something from my !nspiration box!
And hopefully it won't be crap.

Conditions:
"Everything linked up to one big shit of a mistake"

... how emo was I when I wrote this condition.

HERE IS BEGINS!~~~~~~~ warning: ANGST, JOHNLOCK (slight hints of homosexuality)

Interesting convo with dad againnnnn. "TREES HAVE NO BRAINS."

Me: So there, I'm just an ignorant, stupid, immature teenager who knows nothing~

Dad: You're not immature.

Me: I'm mature?

Dad: No.

Me: Well--it would actually depend on your definition of 'mature'.

Dad: What do you think it means?

Me: ... well, acting beyond your age and being able to think sensibly, make decisions and judgments  responsibly for yourself...? I suppose it's kinda like thinking more and analysing things carefully--having foresight and all that.

Dad: No. 'Mature' actually means being able to 'understand'.

Me:... Then no one on this Earth is 'matured' because nobody can actually fully understand everyone--it's pretty exhausting and tiring. Furthermore, humans are self-centered and think of themselves only. As much as they want to think of other people and help the greater good, it's pretty much impossible to be mature, right, I mean-- they'll start thinking of themselves. Even Gandhi. Although he goes on all those hunger strikes and--

Dad: Do you know about Gandhi and what he did? He was on the train and one of his shoe dropped, so he threw the other off the train. When people asked him why--he said it was because since one of his shoe dropped into the tracks, and he could retrieve it--

Me: He threw the other so that someone may be able to get a pair of shoes.

Dad: Yeah. So, that shows him being able to understand things in a larger picture. That's what being mature is about. Being able to understand things in a larger picture.

Me: But that's rather impossible, isn't it? I mean, you can't always be understanding and all--it gets tiring--

Dad: Look at the trees. They bend towards the sunlight and don't get twisted with each other too much because they understand that it's bad to actually block other plants.

Me:... that's a whole different thing. Understanding requires a brain to facilitate that emotion. Or thinking. And we all know that trees don't have brains--

Dad: But they're able to live. There must be something to actually make them able to take in water through the roots and besides, look, they rarely get entangled with other branches, so there must be some kind of like a CPU to control it--

Me: Trees have no brains, right--

Dad: But there must--

Me: TREES HAVE NO BRAINS.

Dad: There could be some kind of a similar--

Me: We all know that trees don't have brains. When you cut down a tree it doesn't exactly bleed--

Dad: It does. The leakage from--

Me: That's the water in the xylem tube. AAAND, when you cut down a tree, you can't find its brain--

Dad: It has a memBRAIN.

Me: That's in the cell--

Dad: And it has a wall--

Me: We're talking about brains here. So TREES HAVE NO BRAINS.

Dad: MemBRAIN.

Me: But it doesn't have a HUMAN brain to actually make it able to understand, right? So it--

Dad: No--

Me: TREES HAVE NO BRAINS.

Dad: but--

Me: DAD TREES DON'T HAVE BRAINS. ROAR.

Dad: but like the CPUs in computers--

Me: DON'T TRY TO DIVERT THE TOPIC. WE'RE TALKING ABOUT TREES AND COMPUTERS AREN'T ALIVE.

...but anyway. Trees don't have-- HUMAN OR ANIMAL brains, right?

Dad: ... /nods/

Me: So there. Trees have no brains to facilitate the 'understanding' of maturity! ... what were we talking about...

And after a long while, we finally came to the conclusion that no one on the world was mature and that trees had no HUMAN brains. So trees aren't mature. And to tell the truth, maturity is overrated.

And kinda had this idea that there was a logic bubble surrounding all of us ( I read a book about something of similar content) and that everyone's logic was only based on what we had experienced--the emotions, the memories and lessons we were taught. In the logic bubble, everyone has their own individual set of logic (like DNA) so actually, there was no actual correct logic to anything. But in our textbooks, there was something that said logic = rule.
Which was wrong, since logic was based on the majority and it would be really unfair to actually have a set of rules for what was right and what was wrong--there are no rights and wrongs in thinking.

"DAD, TREES DON'T HAVE BRAINS."

Dearest teacher.

Dearest teacher,

I'm going to write this in a civilised manner, hopefully without any agitation or any form of rudeness.
I will respect you because you are a human, that and you are my teacher. [And supposedly with more experience than me]

Your lessons are interesting in one way or the other, but this has gotten too far (for me). It started during the musical week, when I was wearing the grey jacket (that I had worn since the first few months of the year) and you told me that it wasn't really good to wear jackets on such a hot day. However, for me, it was not hot at all. It was alright for me, seeing as I was already used to the heat. I just shrugged and took off my jacket, because after all you were the senior and you [were supposed to] have more experience than me after all. I was fine with or without my jacket, but I preferred my jacket.

I think that was when it all started.

I continued to wear my grey jacket, and every time you came into class, you would tell me to take off the jacket. I would, because I didn't want to get into any trouble.

And then it turned back to the normal timetable, in the morning.
I still wore my jacket.
And you still told me it wasn't good for me to wear my jacket.

And today was when you triggered everything.
You made me so angry--so agitated and annoyed.
The last time a teacher made me feel that was in primary two.
And I was burning internally.

You said to do something about the jacket, but I insisted that I was fine and it was just in the morning, and that I had enough sense to actually take my jacket off if I felt hot. But you just stood there, at the door. And then you started saying things to the whole class about 'resilience' and how we had to be 'resilient' and that I would not be able to survive in colder countries in the future if I kept wearing my jacket in such a hot climate.

I took off my jacket, just to make you leave. Because I was literally burning with rage or even annoyance.

What is resilient?
It means to be able to recover quickly from difficult conditions.

May I ask, what does being able to 'recover quickly from difficult conditions' have anything to do with my wearing a jacket on a normal day because I felt like it? Were you trying to say that I had to break off from my comfort zone? It seems highly exaggerated to say that the jacket I was wearing on a daily basis was my comfort zone. Were you suggesting that without my jacket, I was in a 'difficult' situation? If you were trying to insinuate that--how could you assume such things? I certainly do remember taking the jacket off myself on several (often, I would think) occasions, all without any prompt from you.

Couldn't you--excuse my crudeness-- differentiate between 'resilient' and 'personal preference'?

Resilience is a quality found on the inner side (of the mind and emotions), not of the outer body. It is like fear, totally mental. What had it to do with my wearing a jacket? That, I still do not get.

And why do you have to force your thoughts on me? You were advising me not to wear my jacket because it was a little too hot in this climate. I accepted your advice and took it in good heed.

However, I do believe that it was up to me whether to act on the advice.

What you did not have to do (completely unnecessary) : force me to take off my jacket.

I can survive without my jacket. Also, regarding that point about not being able to survive in cold climates--excuse me, ridiculous!

Oh, so because I am wearing a short-sleeved jacket, I will not be able to survive in colder climates? Do you honestly reckon that I would wear sleeveless in a freezing temperature of minus three degrees? No. I would have to wear a big coat or even a windbreaker. And hence that point--is totally redundant. Furthermore, the human body adapts pretty well to any environment, hence I am certain I will not collapse and die upon reaching a country of a cold climate.

Furthermore, the only chances I will probably get to visit a country would probably be during the global classroom programme. During which I am sure, my host or the teachers will not allow me to go around skipping in singlets or even normal clothings outside the buildings--especially not when there is a storm. If I were to be trapped in a snow storm, I would lose my life immediately regardless of whether I am used to wearing a jacket and keeping warm, because snow storms are dangerous.

You are human, despite how much longer you have lived than me. And I do understand that we need mutual respect. So please do respect my preference and wishes to actually decide for myself whether to act on that piece of advice you've given me.

Please stop forcing me to take off my jacket.
It's already making me frustrated with you--furthermore what with you claiming homosexuality is wrong. (even though that is a totally different matter)

And I have one last poem for you.

Ironic little classroom

The teacher sits and enjoys
tea in class(room!)
while jotting down rules that
aren't too 'hard' for
'responsible, matured children' like
us--tiny, wide-eyed litle
kids stuck in big,
starchy uniforms and our
skirts almost reaching our feet.
'No eating, drinking or
Running or engaging (it's a new word I'll have to remember!)
in conversations during lessons--
And no phones...' the list
drags on to form tiny
question marks that float
above our little nodding heads.
'Sweep the floor, clean the
teacher's table--' that's our duty
rooster (or roster?) that clucks at us
every single day.
'And clean your table! It's yours--'
'And the teacher's table is getting dusty--'
Ironic (like spoons?) that they don't
care much for their own tables--
'Don't damage your tables! They're school property!'
Oh, now the school has marked
'my' table as theirs (And my chair!)
Lessons taught always differ from
each other--
From 'mutual respect, everyone is equal!'
To 'you shouldn't talk back to me! Apologise!'
When we're just sweetly asking (without
any co-no-ta-tions)
'Why are you using your phone, teacher?'
And in this pin-drop silence,
I fiddle with my speech cards--
And the teacher's leaning against the door,
checking her phone again and
murmuring under her breath to the
teacher next to her.
They share a laugh but
There's no one to call their names (and make them stand)
or even a glare.
'It's rude,' they say.

Yours,
a little ignorant, irritating, idiotic child who knows nothing at all. Oh, and wears a grey jacket.

I'm getting real tired of your crap. And you too. #rant

updates! :D

Correction. We're going to have a new exhibition.
In October.
:D

that sounds mightily fun, doesn't it?
I think the whole reading group (or what's left of it anyway) is really excited!
-well, I think we are!-

Let's make it pretty! Prettier than our previous one! :D

Yay!
I shall go read up on materials.

HCNY bookclub T4Wk1.

...
sigh.
I don't really like them anyway.

Why? Because waffles. But potatoes. Therefore tomatoes and oranges shall kiss.

I have to stop this.
Stop being so emo.
I'mma be happy and fluffy and fluffinate the world.
The ES jacket is really fluffy.

I shall have to be happy.
I will be happy.
:D
I shall smile. Because I know-
that I'm fortunate to be able to even smile.

And I shall smile.
Hopefully someone else will smile too.

rant.

you don't want to read this. run. now.
before. it's. too. late.

Today was April's fool. Silly girl.

Four poems, each a lie.

((words are like ethanol.
teasingly so-
and then once they're done flirting with you,
they go away.
evaporate, leaving no traces behind-
not at all.))

and in the end
we're all april's fool.
trapped in the summer heat-(or is it spring,autumn, winter)
jumping around in imaginary seasons
that put a slight spring (spring!) to our steps
and yet the heat presses down on us again.

time gently accentuates our features-
painting blemishes and little etchings over
our faces and
arms and
beautiful varicose legs and
our whitened--frizzy hair.

and in the end
we're nothing but white
white bones that break and
creak under
pressure of gravity.
-and under ground too-

Tumblr is traumatising.

Facebook is scary. People see all of you.

Wordpress is boring.

I like blogger.
Nice, safe, pretty, friendly blogger.
:D
I like blogger.
Even though tumblr has gotten my attention for a while--
Blogger is safe, nice and ORANGE :D
Orange is a nice, friendly colour. It's pretty and eye-catching.
I like blogger. <3

http://letmedreamofpotatoes.tumblr.com/

http://waffle-nom-buddy.tumblr.com/

tumblr is pretty too.

Please don't mind me. I'm just a little, ignorant teenager who doesn't know anything.

Please.
Leave if you can't bear my sarcasm.
Leave before it's too late.
Leave before you get agitated because of something I wrote.
Leave now.
I have warned you.

I've always thought of blogger as the land of the sane people.

A poem about Mary-Sues. From the "Inspiration" drawer.

It's been long since I've done anything productive.

So there. I shall pick out something from my "!nspiration" box aaaannnddddd.

._____________.

WHUT.

Conditions:

• write a poem
• about Mary-Sues
• Genre is fantasy
• There must be no sarcasm
• Use these words: "stickers" and "crab"

O.O

Do I have to?

Mary-Sue 

Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue,

all stickers and all lovely beaus.

Shall we eat steak, I moo'ed.

But fluffy ponies are so beautiful, too!

This poem makes no sense,

Oh but Mary-Sue's great at defense

Even though she's not worth ten cents--

On a totally random topic, whales jump over fences.

Mary-Sue, Mary-Sue, 

Oh how you do burn, ravishing like ponies too!

Tell me how you avoid crabs, please do.

And sip some tea while I boo!

Conclusions are always so hefty,

Even as Mary-Sue judges so fairly,

Eating a cheescake with some berries,

I'm suspecting my mind's sanity.

~END~

THAT BURNS.

IT WAS HORRIBLE.

WHY DID I EVEN WRITE THOSE CONDITIONS?

YAY I AM SUGAR HIGH

Decided to do stretching in the middle of the night.

I FEEL SO AWESOME NOW.

All those people I have thought of as normal...

well, let's just say most of them were insane to begin with.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE NORMAL!"

Of course, I have a sane and matured side too.

It just... it just never comes out.

We're marchin' on!

Our first--well, it's not actually official--CCA session without the sec 4s.

WE NEEDED THEIR HELP.

Okay, maybe not.

But as we removed the exhibition, it felt like...

it felt as though the sec4 seniors should have been there too. Like, witnessing the 'birth' and 'death' of their last exhibition... It was rather sad. I mean, that was our nicest exhibition yet D:

And they removed it D:

IT WAS AWESOME. IT SHOULD HAVE STAYED THERE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER.

I SHALL TYPE IN CAPS BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY THE WORDS LOOK! :D

BUT ANYWAY.

TOMORROW'S THE FUNFAIR, I SHOULD BE SLEEPING, BUT I'M... WELL, GOING TO SCHOOL LATER THAN USUAL.

WHEEEEE. IT'S ANOTHER RED-AND-WHITE BE YOURSELF DAY.

HOW FUN~! :D

WE'RE GOING TO SELL CHEESE FRIES AND HOT DOGS. 

I THINK I'LL STICK TO THE ES CCA BOOTH BECAUSE I AM 无家可归 XD

BELOW: NYES SPRING AND WINTER VERSION. I DON'T DARE TO POST IT ON FACEBOOK.

WINTER IS, ADMITTEDLY NICER. BUT STILL...

WHAT ABOUT AUTUMN AND SUMMER? I'M KINDA STUCK.

LIKE, HOW DO I EVEN DRAW THE FRIGGIN AUTUMN LEAF?

I THINK I'LL NEED TO USE PHOTOSHOP INSTEAD OF MURO FOR THIS.

SUMMER...

OH YES I HAVE AN IDEA

WHEEEEEEEEE~

LET'S HOPE IT WILL WORK.

THEN AUTUMN FOR THE LASTTTTTT~

YAYYAY

WISH ME LUCK.

...

NO, DON'T.

YOU'D BE WASTING IT.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

OKAY I SHALL EMBARK ON A JOURNEY TO DESIGN ANOTHER ONE.

SUMMER. IN PROGRESS.

*Edit: NYES--Summer is the only one (yet) to require a shitty blueprint. =.=

I can't help but cry.

Pent-up frustration banging against the doors.

I'm laughing at how innocent you look.

I don't even.

I don't.

I can't.

I don't even know.

I can't.

Not anymore.