Where's the grace in graciousness?

i think we've been through this warning section quite a few times.
if you're going to be one of those adults who are going to scream and holler in indignity at my - excuse me - ignorant, idiotic and completely out of point words, please do not click the 'continue' button, thank you.
you have been warned.
i'm just going to tell you what i'll probably cover, just in case you boldly ask
"but if i don't know what you're talking about, how would i know if i'd be offended?"

i'm just going to cover this part of respect and giving up seats on public transports- are young people culprits of rude behaviour on public transports? (loooooneh)

so there.
you have been warned (again!)

autumn in england and a slight bit of rant

Autumn in England and China now. A clash of both sides, which is really, quite cool.

Japanese examinations over now, and I am so happy-- although I think having examinations for third language totally killed off the joy of learning, although it did push me to learn. 

NYES-- Autumn version

I did this on muro and also during ICT, using photoshop. I feel like I've got a power. A power that I've recently acquired after learning how to create text effects. Photoshop, although sometimes you may be a jerk.

Thank you for that power.

I love that power. 

((only when I'm using it))

From this point on-wards, it's going to be long. So click at your own risk. Woah, another long post.

photo spam

hahahahah LOON LOOK I HAVE MY PHOTOSHOP ASSIGNMENT TOO OH YAY IT IS HORRIBLY DONE BUT LOOK DO I CARE.

actually I do.

So yeah. Most of it was all about ES but then I gave up because. 

Well. I don't really know but that part about stars.

the stars say I have to draw today and so I did.

I drew something out of proportion and I hope no one noticed it.

Oh who am I kidding.

The second picture probably sounds wrong but anyway.

It was when we were highing together sometime ago...

I think.

She murmurs a short chant, trying to warm his tensed, stiff and cold body.

"I'll let you be Sherlock next time. I'll let you be Sherlock-"

-bang-

and the world collapsed, in front of her eyes as scarlet coloured his face and head and every-

"I'll let you be Sherlock- please."

She looks into the eyes of his murderer, only to hear-

"It had to be done."

"NO- YOU DON'T-HE WASN'T GOING TO CHANGE- HE WAS ALL FINE YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS- I- I wanted to let him be Sherlock for once-" 

and she falls, down into this bottomless pit of memories and every single word she utters when he begs to be Sherlock.

'Now's not the time. I've got work-'

'Everything's fine, you know. There're no mysteries-'

'You know you're not- not as observant as Sherlock Holmes.'

'He's not real.'

'You've got work to do.'

'Not now, NOT NOW!'

"M-mom, can I be Sherl-Sherlock- now." she thinks she hears this from his cracked lips and she can only nod, cradling her fallen angel in her arms.

"Yes-yes-Sherlock. I'll let you be Sherlock-"

the pencil is mightier than the charcoal. still.

i've been drawing a lot recently and i suspect i'm going through some kinda phase.

first it was folding stars, then the paper flowers and then the hearts.
And now it's the stars. again.

what is with me and folding papery stuff now.
idek exactly.

but back to the topic. i'm drawing. a lot. and that's not exactly good. because well. it kinda eats into my time and when i start drawing i can't really stop.

after eoys i'm going on a drawing spree. whee.
but anyway.

yeah. so i've 'designed' the dresses for the "if (cca) were to be a dress" album. so far--

2 ES dresses (but the first design was crappy)
1 Modern Dance dress
1 String Ensemble dress

i think i might do the Chinese Dance dress if. well. if there's really a spare period when the teacher's not exactly talking about the point at hand. or maybe another ES dress.
it's fun, but sometimes you can get stuck because you don't really know about that cca but still, it's your general impression of it anyway.

yeah. and i don't really want to waste my sketch book's pages by randomly doodling. so well. i'm trying out a more shading kinda style.

yeah i know how this sounds so ridiculous, especially when i've got eoys around me and all.

but anyway i like pencils. sure, charcoal is good for shading, but pencil is neater and more available and i've not really used charcoal before but i think it's rather hard to erase? so you have to- like- be very decisive on what you want to draw and stuff. and besides, freshly sharpened pencils smell a little like books but more... how do you say it. nice. well. it's just a kinda metallic crisp argh i don't know how to describe it.

yeah. pencils are beautiful.

my mom is really irritating sometimes even though i try to tolerate her, you know. i mean, idek why but it's like she's intent on making me do things i don't wanna do and i try to be nice and speak all gently but yeah and then she gets too sensitive and say that i hurt her when she's said more hurting phrases to me but.

pencils.
and then loon introduced this website of many, many beautiful words so i thought.
well.
dictionaryofobscuresorrows.com
it's full of words.
beautiful words.

if being a nerd means being in love with words then-
oh of course i am a nerd whaddya think i was.

so there.

Emoticons :D :3 :O :( :)

as I promised.
Emoticons.
I tried not to rant--but there wasn't really much to rant about, except studies but that's really boooring.
because YOU STARE AT THE NOTES AND THE NOTES DON'T STARE BACK.
how rude.
okay, maybe they stare back but-
ahem.
onto the topic!
mooooove along, children! Mooooooove along!

[disclaimer: this post is just my own opinion, kay]

"CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON?" -proper blog post-

this is not a rant.
despite how the title seems to suggest it.
...
this is me ----->                                             ~~(^w^)~~



and this is the point -----> .

...
derp.
Observations my friends and family have made about me recently:

• "You seem to be more nice and blunt but sweet when you're tired. Like, when you can't give a damn about anything, and you start talking rubbish and about unicorns. Yeah, that's when you're at your fluffiest and sweetest and bluntest. But when you're high on sugar, you're just. KABOOM. And when you're low, extremely low and frustrated, you get all sarcastic and bitchy and your hand always go and sweep your fringe up your forehead. And when you're talking to people you don't like, you always make an effort to be civil. That's weird."
• "You've grown taller."
• "You're more... talkative and more emotional?"
• "You've changed."
• "You'd be more likely to be a murderer that kills on instinct when you get really angry."
• "You're a nice crazy."
• "Don't worry. You're still as short."
• "potatoed!"

Okay that was weird. 

HCNY bookclub wasn't really that productive. But at least-well, at least it gave me something to talk about.

Unicorns. British Unicorns are smokin' hot, hence your argument is invalid.

...

and about Utopia and Dystopia.

It's really, all about perceptions. But if everyone had different perceptions (well, we all do.), then doesn't it mean we should all have, like a country each or idek, maybe there will be no countries? But even so, it wouldn't work out anyway.

That means that there's no perfect society anyway and if we're looking for perfect, it would be up to our own definition, so that means we have to have our own alternate universes? Well, that's a little complicated--and wouldn't we have to be alone? That's not happy.

So talking about being happy--setting that as the main quality of an Utopian society... well, we talked about serial killers being happy killing people but people not being happy being killed. So it still wouldn't be a Utopia. 

... I suppose.

I mean, you can't get everyone to be happy, right? And it's not up to you to decide what's right and wrong, unless you're saying what is wrong is to be mean or hurt people's feelings, but some people feel happy to hurt other people and you're not being fair to them by limiting them--you're hurting the minority after all, right?

...that's really weird. 

And you want people to live in a society where everyone is different because that's how we all are, and you don't want like, a situation in The Giver because well, it's not fair for people--they don't get to experience emotions, what makes them humane.

It'll be like a group of robots, won't it?

...

Well, either way, you're going to have a group of people to control every single thing and deem it as right or wrong and you have no choice because

1. they stole your country (steal a little and they call you thief. Steal a lot and they call you king)
2. you voted for them
3. you were born here. And apparently if you dare to even voice out, you die.
4. you can't do anything better either way.

politics is freaking messy.

here have a waffle-cake it'll make everything better i hope.

                 

               {#}

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   {#} {#} {#} {#} {#} 

{#} {#} {#} {#} {#} {#}

people think i've changed. i haven't. they just didn't know me.

hell, i don't even know myself.

Loon are you reading this? Kimberlala says tennis ball loves all of us and would really appreciate it deep down in her heart if we hugged her. ._. no.

Next blog post (scheduled), but may be intercepted by something else: emoticons. 

Peiphone

"Peiphone" 

Original version by Maroon 5

I am a Peiphone,

Trying to call home, 

All of my change you stole from me.

Where are my pennies,

My hard-earned pennies,

Where are the plans made for Hawaii? 

If British unicorns did not exist,

I would have my pennies back with me.

All the treasuries are full of it,

I just want my pennies back for me.

If I had my pennies~

I have again fallen to the prey of muro drawing.
WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE AT ONE AM DRAWING CCA RELATED STUFF THAT ISN'T EVEN GOING TO GO ANYWHERE.
...
oh wait I still have to photoshop it.
...
._.
kthbai will do physics.

This. IS NOT A RANT :D HOORAY

lots of things crashing down on me recently.

I'll promise-- this won't be a rant. I should start on a legitimate blog post.

I have EOY so I have to study. And at the same time I've got inspiration for a work in Chinese. CHINESE.
It's really rare that I get such inspiration for Chinese. Seeing how I'm not so fluent in it anyway.
But I really got it and I'm afraid of letting it go away. Like, just vanish up into last gasps of the burning cigarette.
Idek.

It's about dreams, and I think I'll just be writing about a girl

• has a talent (like most other main characters. duh.) for drawing and she loves drawing (she wants to be an artist, but such a career is frowned upon) but she can't really afford to draw and has to study really hard for scholarships because she...
• comes from a broken family. Her father is nowhere to be found, her mother suffers from an illness.
• Mother dies, she breaks down, but mother left something
• "go find your father. Tell him the dream has not died yet. Tell him that in the end, dreams never die. That even though we never see our dreams, they're still there. They're still alive. They're still there, in the end."
• she goes on an adventure, through a portal--like it just brings her away from reality.
• aaaaand. she meets this strange creature and she goes on with it, because she wants to and she can't turn back any longer.
• along the way she realises she can't draw--everything is forced and it just doesn't work.
• the ending is still... kinda. undecided. :)

I'll post it on the other blog for Chinese if I can. 

yeah.

okay :D

no rants.

just nice, fluffy stuff.

I think I did something with my facebook while I was high on coffee just now--thirty minutes ago, but I can't remember.

And I can't access facebook for some reason.

ohkay.

I'm starting to panic. What did I do now-

yeah. thanks dad. whatever. pencil's chipped off. [rant]

Dad.

You know about my email password and even my blog url. What the shit is wrong with you to want to know about my facebook password as well? I have tried to be tolerant, trying to reason with myself that you only care for me and are afraid that I might do some wrong things on the internet like go threaten the Minister of Education or something similar. Similarly stupid. I tried to understand, I seriously did.

I mean, I'm okay with you getting into my email just to check if there's any urgent message. Correction: I'm not even okay with that, you know. It's an invasion of privacy. And that's something I really need at this stage of my teenage life. What the heck. Even my other classmates don't have their parents knowing their password and stuff. You should be glad I'm not out there skipping school or getting drugs into my system or even getting myself pregnant. I'm not. And I'm trying my bestest to do well in my studies.

I don't even like to swear. The only swear words I use are probably 'shit' and 'damn' or some random classy English word to cover up my anger. I know I'm not good enough, not as nice and sweet as my sister but for goodness sake, can't you respect the fact that everyone is different?

My facebook has a lot of things--many different connections with people I know. There are groups which may be slightly weird with all my friends and I DON'T WANT you looking into that because it's a private part of me--not so private but I treat it this way. And I don't want you to judge my friends. The last time was bad enough and you tried to tell me to get away from my friend. Who just swore a little. And you were all boom about it you know.

I have my own friends. 

I know enough. I KNOW who is at least, good or bad. You're not going to give me some crap--oh, here's another curse, would you like to scramble over and holler at me for cursing again?-- about how ignorant I am.

The whole world is ignorant. What right have you to deem yourself as experienced, smart, all-knowing while I am just some kid who doesn't know better.

Even adults don't know any better.

Look at uncle. He went and got his money off to somewhere no one even knows and he acts like he's mentally sick or overly stressed by such financial issues because he just wants people to sympathise and pay for him. It happened last year. It's happening again.

You gossip all about him and try to deduce where his money has gone but when I say something, I don't know, like "well that sounds really wrong of him".

And you go all how we must respect our seniors and that crap shit thing.

If he really went to gamble and is faking all these crap up to bug us and my poor grandma, I don't give a damn whether he's my senior. What he is doing is wrong and he's even abusing my cute, poor grandma who I love so much.

Back to the topic. 

Are you unable to trust me? Are you trying to say that I'm probably up to some bad stuff online on facebook because I'm a kid? You don't even know me. And all that problem, when you point to some random "indecent" stuff on my timeline or activity log and demand what's wrong with me and then ground me or something I don't care.

All the content I post online are usually free of any swear words. Free of any threats. Free of any personal info unless it's those kind of media platforms like facebook.

I know you're only trying to care for me but this is getting too far.
Too far for me.

I know you're probably going to break into that great long lecture about how us children HAVE NO RIGHTS WHILE WE'RE UNDER 18 AND UNDER YOUR ROOF

and as long as you're my parent, you have full control over whatever I am doing.

I don't.
I'm tired out, already.
I'm really sick of all this crapshitdamned things.
I'm already tired out by whatever crap--
WILL YOU STOP COMPARING ME TO MY SISTER WE'RE DIFFERENT PEOPLE PLEASE I'M TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY.

I'll try to get all As for EOY.
thanks for all that care. not.

Stalker Diaries 4

((seriously though. I hate the name. asdfghjkl;'))

Here it begins.
Again.
Okay I don't care no more editing for me I am tired of editing through stuff.
nuff said.

rantrantrant that weed in your garden. GTFO

potating potatoes potate.

new record broken. oh wait what? no politically-correct statements at 4am please.

warning this post is asdfghjkl and written when i was hzul.cjsgrkhfksdghnsdjvgahifgqueshkdf in my brain.
do not proceed.

Competition! How exciting!... yeah, yeah. SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS

This ^ is how I'm probably going to look like after tomorrow's competition.

Imagine! The fun!

The excitement!

The getting-screwed-all-over-again-and-again.

._.

Well.

I don't know, I've been trying my best, prepping for it the past few days and trying my best at newspaper writing... It doesn't really work, you know.

I think.

So here I am, trying to calm myself down--who knew English Society had competitions! This is like, more for Infocomm club, but with the writing factor, that is. Only thing is that they seem to appreciate the design factor more. Not really complaining. 

But the thing is, not sleeping for 24 hours straight (we can have different--like, take turns to sleep but--)

We'll be working through the night and to be honest, I don't think we really stand a chance against those other schools, but I think that we'll try to clinch a writing award! It's the best we can do. 

I think.

Well, I'mma try and sleep early

AND IT ISN'T HELPING WITH MY HOMEWORK DOUCHE BAGS.

I HAVE HOMEWORK

THIS ISN'T A HOLIDAY

ASDFGHJKL;'

NOT FUN.

NOT FAIR.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

okay I'll try to enjoy it and then maybe I'll blog about this.

considering I don't die.

Poetry slam 'speech'

The speech below may be a little offensive for some people, so I'm just going to put a line break for those people who are too sensitive to things. Thanks.

You have been warned.

hey, i forgot which update i am at. that's all for now--"you little liar."

you promise to keep in touch.
the letters still come by
and even though they do, they start out
endearing and so lively
but end up so dull, a boring narrative of what you just ate
because whatever that's happened to you--
"they can't get it anyway."
and the length shortens until
it completely disappears
and fades into a corner of 'deleted posts' in your inbox.

you promised you'd keep in touch.
you promised.
and you broke it.