YESH I HAS COMPLETED IT.
Okay, so I realised that I haven't been doing any writing (writer's block is attacking, stronger than ever).
So I'm just trying. :D yayyayyayyay
Gosh, I hate writer's block. It just seeps into your brain. It's made me fear my fanfiction now. T.T
Light disclaimer:
I no stalk anyone. It just seemed... interesting to try and write from a stalker's point of view (no offence to stalkers out there! :D)
because I don't have the time and I get tired of things really easily. :D
Ellie, I has completed mai 'stalker story', you?
Now, if you dislike very crazily obsessive people ranting about how they stalk people, then do not click for more pencil shavings. :D
Showing posts with label coward. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coward. Show all posts
Sunday, 17 June 2012
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Bloggery :D 15 May 2012
The tennis ball had a cookie and she was wondering what to do with it (what can you do with a cookie besides giving it to your truly?). AND I WAS EMOING IN THE DISTANCE BECAUSE I KNEW I'D NEVER GET THE COURAGE TO ASK HER FOR IT. TAT
ahhh...
my cookie.
TT^TT
So anyway.
Ellie made a bunch of statements that I don't understand. I mean, I like doughnuts (they are sweet and the bread is fluffy and the sprinkles *__*) especially CHOCOLATE ones! (OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM :3) And then she was saying about something long and then I wondered about Frenchbread (I've been listening to too much Teto : D Listen to Kasane Teto's "Kasane Territory"!) and then I didn't get the joke and Jerry and Ellie were both being mean and going "WE SHALL NOT TELL YOU" bwahahahaha.
There was choir concert! And I didn't know about it :O I wanted to go!
But no, because I has homework. and man, they didn't even tell us about it!
TT^TT
Enough tragic dramas today.
ahhh...
my cookie.
TT^TT
So anyway.
Ellie made a bunch of statements that I don't understand. I mean, I like doughnuts (they are sweet and the bread is fluffy and the sprinkles *__*) especially CHOCOLATE ones! (OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM :3) And then she was saying about something long and then I wondered about Frenchbread (I've been listening to too much Teto : D Listen to Kasane Teto's "Kasane Territory"!) and then I didn't get the joke and Jerry and Ellie were both being mean and going "WE SHALL NOT TELL YOU" bwahahahaha.
There was choir concert! And I didn't know about it :O I wanted to go!
But no, because I has homework. and man, they didn't even tell us about it!
TT^TT
Enough tragic dramas today.
Monday, 23 April 2012
Musing-- God of Death
Have you ever thought so much about Death that you got addicted to it?
I have--I am.
It just seems so peculiar as to where we're going after Death, and I can only picture black, darkness and numbness. If Death is such a place, perhaps I want to go there. Still, it's only what we can imagine. But the thought of a place simply being an absence of everything is rather scary.
And it sounds rather tempting. Rather simple, as compared to the restless clockwork of life.
... And it's so simple that it terrifies me. How can one thing be so simple,so straightforward? I don't dare to open my arms and fling myself towards it. It is a lack of faith. An overdose of suspicion, cautiousness.
... Oh bananas. I sound so suicidal and creepy. Let's talk about fluffy ponies and nyan-cats that poop rainbows.
...
oh, bananas. =3=
Montage is due, due, due.
... I forgot what date it was.
Let's write a poem for Meggi :D
I have--I am.
It just seems so peculiar as to where we're going after Death, and I can only picture black, darkness and numbness. If Death is such a place, perhaps I want to go there. Still, it's only what we can imagine. But the thought of a place simply being an absence of everything is rather scary.
And it sounds rather tempting. Rather simple, as compared to the restless clockwork of life.
... And it's so simple that it terrifies me. How can one thing be so simple,so straightforward? I don't dare to open my arms and fling myself towards it. It is a lack of faith. An overdose of suspicion, cautiousness.
... Oh bananas. I sound so suicidal and creepy. Let's talk about fluffy ponies and nyan-cats that poop rainbows.
...
oh, bananas. =3=
Montage is due, due, due.
... I forgot what date it was.
Let's write a poem for Meggi :D
Monday, 2 January 2012
Coward.
I didn't think that it would be so different. I imagined how simple it would be to walk up straight and smile, try to talk, end of story. Nothing is that simple. In fact, it just hurt that I didn't know what to do, being the coward I was. Surrounded by the bunch of people I never really talked to, I tried to stand up and dash over, smiling sheepishly. Hesitation. Fear. Reluctance.
I haven't talked to you in ages. Everythin seemed so easy, too easy, when we didn't speak face to face. I could laugh, be free. But I couldn't just walk over and grin, because I knew I would never fit in and rejection would hit me right in the face, forcing the air out of my lungs as I deflated. I was afraid of rejection. As I clutched the Hatsune Miku plushie (Phoebe gave it to me. How sweet~!) tighter, it became a talisman. I trotted over, poked you with it and beamed lightly.
It was a good reason, so I didn't press on, as I just nodded and ran out. Like the very coward I was. I should have stayed longer. But I knew I would practically suffocate from all those plastered smiles. At the beginning, I kept my face down, packing and unpacking all the food that I was (mysteriously) in charge of, categorising it (like the OCD person I am XD). I didn't dare to talk. Some kind souls had tried, but I just blocked them out, pressing the ear phones into my ear, digging deeper.
Perfect by P!nk came on, and I wandered out of the room, to the carpark as I waited, listening to the change of music. Sometimes I went inside and packed again, avoiding human interactions, sometimes I simply lazed at the deserted and dim place, afraid to turn in. Coward.
Finally one of the EPs came and told me to go in while she waited. I strolled there, unwillingly turning to the room. I note that groups had formed, and I wasn't in any one of them. She stood there by the table, alone. So I trotted away to her. We played the soccer-table game, occasionally laughing. Simply, even as we didn't really talk, it worked. Soon all of them came. I started chatting, feeling more at ease, wondering why I had tried so hard to build the barrier around myself.
Maybe it's because I'm going to a different school, so it doesn't matter if I'm salvaging those friendships that never lasted. I don't know.
"What's your greatest fear?"
"... Being alone even though you're in a big crowd."
Coward. I really am a coward.
I haven't talked to you in ages. Everythin seemed so easy, too easy, when we didn't speak face to face. I could laugh, be free. But I couldn't just walk over and grin, because I knew I would never fit in and rejection would hit me right in the face, forcing the air out of my lungs as I deflated. I was afraid of rejection. As I clutched the Hatsune Miku plushie (Phoebe gave it to me. How sweet~!) tighter, it became a talisman. I trotted over, poked you with it and beamed lightly.
It was a good reason, so I didn't press on, as I just nodded and ran out. Like the very coward I was. I should have stayed longer. But I knew I would practically suffocate from all those plastered smiles. At the beginning, I kept my face down, packing and unpacking all the food that I was (mysteriously) in charge of, categorising it (like the OCD person I am XD). I didn't dare to talk. Some kind souls had tried, but I just blocked them out, pressing the ear phones into my ear, digging deeper.
Perfect by P!nk came on, and I wandered out of the room, to the carpark as I waited, listening to the change of music. Sometimes I went inside and packed again, avoiding human interactions, sometimes I simply lazed at the deserted and dim place, afraid to turn in. Coward.
Finally one of the EPs came and told me to go in while she waited. I strolled there, unwillingly turning to the room. I note that groups had formed, and I wasn't in any one of them. She stood there by the table, alone. So I trotted away to her. We played the soccer-table game, occasionally laughing. Simply, even as we didn't really talk, it worked. Soon all of them came. I started chatting, feeling more at ease, wondering why I had tried so hard to build the barrier around myself.
Maybe it's because I'm going to a different school, so it doesn't matter if I'm salvaging those friendships that never lasted. I don't know.
"What's your greatest fear?"
"... Being alone even though you're in a big crowd."
Coward. I really am a coward.
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