"So, I don't literally--well, it doesn't make sense but--get anything but the fact that people are judging me. It's like, all the time--" "Aren't you judging them, too?"

Was having a chat with wise old dad.

Me: So, um, there was this 'Character Development' module or something like that and, um, well. They just asked this question about what I thought about this line, "Character is what you are in the dark."
So I said that, "It means that in the darkest of times, in the face of adversity--it sounds weird but--what you truly are." and the teacher was staring at me strangely then she said, "Uh, interesting thinking, you have there."

Dad: Hm. Then there's something wrong with your interpretation of things.

Me: Nonononononononono. I--just I don't--it's not wrong. It's up to interpretation of matters, so there's practically nothing wrong with my statement. She was like staring at me weirdly and then she asked another student. It was like, she was trying to get a correct answer! Then the student said, "I think it means character is what you are when no one's watching."
So I don't quite get it when the teacher said, "Yes, that would be it." Like it was a model answer. That question was practically up to interpretation and--it might be a strange way of expressing herself but-- it's not like, Math, where everything is definite. And when she said, "that would be it.", it felt as though everything has a correct answer--

Dad shakes his head.

Dad: I think you don't really have much exposure in this area.

Me: But I've actually had lots of talks like this and on instinct, I just answered it. I've gone through lots of lessons when they say that "Character is what you are when no one's watching" and yet I just answered it in this way. That's strange. And it's like, they expect you to think that way, so she was shocked when she heard my different answer. Isn't that so... condemning? Like, they're teaching moral educations with a standard model answer--that doesn't sound right. Uh... it's like, they want to structure our brains in this way that...we'll think the same answer?

Dad: I think it's because you haven't got enough depth in this area, like you're still amateur at trying to--

Me: There is no difference in level of interpretation. Like... umm, if... well... if someone says, "The curtains were blue" and another person--supposedly of higher intellect-- says, "The blue curtains represented the writer's angst" and all that stuff, I suppose people would say that he's better at interpretation, isn't it? But maybe the writer just meant that the curtains were friggin blue. In fact, interpretation is up to everyone of us. It depends on what we relate to.

But the thing is. I think the teacher was judging me. It's like, a random strange student just says something out of the norm and then--

Dad: But aren't you judging her?

Me: ... nonononononononono. I'm just--

Dad: Look, it just depends on everyone's background and cultural preference. What are you trying to say? That you disagree with the statement "Character is what you are when no one's watching"?

Me:... Hm. Not exactly. But I don't really get how that can happen. I mean, like, in the dark, we can still all see, right? It's not like pitch black dark.

Dad: That was not literal.

Me: Oh. But anyway, there's still a pair of eyes watching you! I mean, it can't be--

Dad: See, so you believe in the existence of a God that's watching you.

Me: That's not what I meant. I meant that you'd still be watching yourself, out of fear of the possibility of someone still watching you. It's like, you're watching yourself.

Dad: But for that moment, you'd still be yourself, won't you?

Me: Butbutbut. Look, you'd be yourself for just a moment, then you'd turn back to your... fake self and it gets kinda confusing like who is your real self? And then it--

Dad: That's only for someone as confusing as you.

Me: Not true! Sometimes you get so caught up in being fake that you'd... you'd--I don't know--forget yourself? And in the other case, in the case of adversity, you'd choose, won't you? Like Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew--the main focus is on Peter, of course. He chose to help Voldy and--

Dad: Who are they?

Me:... Uhh, some people. So anyway, the words "Character is what you are" were in black and the background was white while the words "in the dark" were white in black background and that kinda led to me thinking that it was a candle in the dark. Kinda like hope or faith, right?

Wait, what am I talking about? But anyway, I still don't quite get how people instinctively react to this... statement as nobody seeing you. I mean, in the dark, no one is watching you, but can't they be hearing?

Dad: It's not literal.

Me: Butbutbut. Aargh, so I don't get why my interpretation is wrong.

Dad: I never said your interpretation was wrong.

Me: You said there was something wrong with my interpretation of things.

Dad: I wanted to say that it all depended on your cultural background and what your values are and all that.

Me: ...

Dad: Eh, drink your soyabean. We're leaving.

My dad is awesome. :D
he keeps reminding me how stupid I am TAT

Jerry and I are getting married. Now, where to find cabbages... jk,jk :D