Because sometimes, even when you think you are being listened to, you aren't.


There's no point in all of this.


Because sometimes you wish you could run, you wish you could hide.
You don't often find the courage to.


When you just want to run away from this narrow-minded society, it doesn't let you do so. It makes you writhe and tremble in your own pool of tears or sometimes, blood.


Because sometimes it isn't worth considering about.


Because it just isn't that good enough, that you have to be forced to listen to the longest lecture of your life. 


___


I cup my ears, trying to cover my ears from the already-known facts. I try to kill off her lecturing voice, her droning. 


"Listen to me," she says.


Have you ever listened to me?


"And I think that your sister's bike needs a--"


It's my bike.


"Do you hate me or something? Why don't you ever talk to me?"


Why don't you ever listen?


___


Because sometimes when they think they know it all, 
they don't.
And sometimes when they think they've heard it all,
they haven't.


Because sometimes it takes much more to convince them.
But it's always easier to choose the easy way out:


Cover your ears and don't listen.
Lie.


I always take the easy way out.


___


 I feel a bubbling rage inside of me. And I want to scream, but I end up looking indifferent. I'm pleased with how I look. Every time I succeed in making an innocent look, I feel relieved, I feel like I've won a battle over her. And then I think of ways, cruel, morbid and disgusting ways to keep those pretty scarlet lips shut. 


But I smile, but it only further agitates her.


"I want an answer."


I smile.


"Are you unable to speak? I want an answer. I'm not scolding you."


If you aren't wipe that stupiduglyidiotic look off your flawless face.
I smile again.


And then I realise how fake and stupid and low I am. But it's always so tempting and so twisted, so twistedly sick. 


So enticing. 


___

I'll forget it all in the morning. I will.