They don green shorts, shrieking like girls. Oh well, maybe not all of them. I suppose it's partially because I'm a feminist and they are boys. Immature, irritating and rude.
We do have a lot of complaints from my class mates and school mates about them.
1. "Some of them went, 'Ai yah, those *insert my school name* girls so slow, like rich tai-tais... No wonder the queue is so long. Don't talk to them.' "
Is it our fault? I mean, the queue was just so long. I don't see the reason why we could possibly be hogging the queue when in that particular queue, there were only two of us. Also, why the discrimination? If the queue is long, please don't blame us. Have a little patience and wait. Is it really that urgent? Do you really need to eat immediately or else you would die? I think not, since you still have the energy to push the blame to us. If you are so spoilt and pampered, please go and learn some manners and do not jump to conclusions.
2. "Every time they see us, they will go, 'Don't talk to them'"
What is this anti-social behaviour? I mean, we haven't committed any of the serious offences that is so horrible that you condemn us? How can you be so mean? Aren't we all equal. I wouldn't mind if you did not bother us, but even saying these hurtful words out loud, isn't that so insensitive of you? Come on, we are just humans of a different gender. What is it that makes you think that we are unapproachable? Is it because you think we study too much and are too arrogant? Please, drop that attitude and instead of hiding behind your friends, come and get to know us better. You are labelling us!
3. "They said, 'Those *F-word* girls.' when they saw us."
What is with the swear word? It's not a nice word, nor a compliment, so keep it to yourself! This just goes to show how immature and rude you are. It also reflects badly on your character. Is it a must that you must say this word to us? Stop being so childish. If you don't even know the word but think it is cool to say, please drop that frame of thinking. And if you do know the meaning and you mean it, why are you saying such things about us? We have not done anything to anger you, have we? Do you really hate us so much that you just had to say it? Or is it just plain stereotyping? Grow up!
4. "When they were on the pyramid (height element), they were unfriendly; they started shaking the ropes, as though they did not see us climbing up."
Why are you shaking the ropes that we use for support? Is it part of your nature to be so evil. It is quite high from the ground and if we do fall, are you going to answer? It is also very dangerous. That just proves how playful and irresponsible you are. Before you even do anything, do you even consider the consequences? We all just want to play. Do you have to be so selfish and mean to hog up all the space at the top of the pyramid? Also, when we did not slide down fast enough, you simply snapped, 'Hurry up!' Does the playground belong to you? It is for the general public to share. I do not think that we purposely hogged up all the space on the slide, nor prolong the moment. Also, it was said that you put sand on the slide such that some of our classmates, when they were going down the slide, sand got into their pants. Have some consideration!
All together, this experience was fun, excluding the parts wherein those GREEN things were simply acting like childish, immature, rude and inconsiderate 12 year-olds. Please do grow up and mature, just as we are the same age as you are, we seem to be more sensible towards you and we do not act hostile towards you. And for those who were more sensible, please do not be offended by this post unless you are part of those rude ones.
Monday, 31 October 2011
Saturday, 29 October 2011
I love you
The special three words, something so unique. However, it is always turned down by the pupils in my class. It does draw a certain amount of shock and the responses are always so predictable. When I yelled the words out to a very good friend, she immediately was taken aback and had both eyebrows raised. As I patted my 'granddaughter''s head and whispered the words out, she shrieked, "EEP!" and later said, "I'm not lesbian." When I smiled and spoke the words to my 'daughter', she scowled and replied, "I'm not lesbian."
It hurt to feel immediate rejection; love is just such a simple term, why should everyone immediately link that to relationships? Can't we love our parents, our kins, our friends? I suppose they just didn't understand. After all, those three words are to show how we admired or cherished the friends, weren't they? Sure, they could be romantically involved, but it just seems so weird to link those three words together with such things every single time.
Also, when I gave my friend a birthday hug, I could feel shock from another person. As I left, I could hear the birthday girl explaining, "It's just a hug." Why are we so isolated from the gestures used to express our friendship? Have we been too anti-social?
I love you, don't you?
It hurt to feel immediate rejection; love is just such a simple term, why should everyone immediately link that to relationships? Can't we love our parents, our kins, our friends? I suppose they just didn't understand. After all, those three words are to show how we admired or cherished the friends, weren't they? Sure, they could be romantically involved, but it just seems so weird to link those three words together with such things every single time.
Also, when I gave my friend a birthday hug, I could feel shock from another person. As I left, I could hear the birthday girl explaining, "It's just a hug." Why are we so isolated from the gestures used to express our friendship? Have we been too anti-social?
I love you, don't you?
Eww... I'm not--
Love can be used to express how you cherish someone. Don't you love your parents?
Yeah...
Nevermind.
Friday, 28 October 2011
A shopping experience @ Comics Connection
Kyah! Why are the Angry Birds plushies so expensive? And where are the English versions for this? Where's the rabbit plushie that used to be here? Ugh, K-pop. Hatsune Miku! Kyah! ...The animation doesn't look very nice... Hmm... I wonder if she'd like this... Ah well, I suppose she could get the Japanese version! This might enourage her to learn Japanese and stop her GREEK! ...Is this PG-rated? I've never seen the anime before but people say it's nice... Whoa. This looks gross... But it's a good story... Should I buy this for her? But she's stronger than a pile of jelly... But it looks disgusting... I don't want to freak her out... Hmm... Eh! This looks cute! I see no Greek here... Does she like Jolin Tsai? Ah! Cats! I should get one for her...
It was more of a rebellious trip, having deceived my dad that I was going to the library, but later confessing to him :D Well, it was so filled with many anime that I had never watched before. There were also pictures of K-pop idols, poker cards, Naruto figurines and of course, Angry Birds. The book titles were in Chinese and English, some Japanese. The plushies were so cute! Kyah! I wanted to cuddle them! But the cashier was staring...
In the end, I got some really useful and cool items, though a little expensive, for my 'sisters'! Anticipate! Ha! I hope you gurls will like it! And don't dump it into the bin, cos I spent most of my savings to buy it... :D
It was more of a rebellious trip, having deceived my dad that I was going to the library, but later confessing to him :D Well, it was so filled with many anime that I had never watched before. There were also pictures of K-pop idols, poker cards, Naruto figurines and of course, Angry Birds. The book titles were in Chinese and English, some Japanese. The plushies were so cute! Kyah! I wanted to cuddle them! But the cashier was staring...
In the end, I got some really useful and cool items, though a little expensive, for my 'sisters'! Anticipate! Ha! I hope you gurls will like it! And don't dump it into the bin, cos I spent most of my savings to buy it... :D
Thursday, 27 October 2011
cracked mirrors
Idiotic. I really am.
Even as I try hard to find another chance, a slim hope, something, just a glimmer of light. I dig in the bare soil, deeper, deeper, my heart still aching with the wish. It throbbed, continuously, and even though I had experienced that sour, bitter feeling for many times, it still bit into my heart mercilessly, soaking the palpitating red organ and leaving a scar etched so deeply. The acidic feeling was horribly painful, bringing tears to my eyes.
At last, I am forced to admit that the treasure I have been looking for was never there. The simple realisation left me slumped to the ground. My hands were sore with blisters, my fingernails cracked and bleeding. The physical pain was masked by emotional pain, as I forced myself to stop being weak.
I'm just so damn tired.
I'm an idiot, now that I think about it.
Even as I try hard to find another chance, a slim hope, something, just a glimmer of light. I dig in the bare soil, deeper, deeper, my heart still aching with the wish. It throbbed, continuously, and even though I had experienced that sour, bitter feeling for many times, it still bit into my heart mercilessly, soaking the palpitating red organ and leaving a scar etched so deeply. The acidic feeling was horribly painful, bringing tears to my eyes.
At last, I am forced to admit that the treasure I have been looking for was never there. The simple realisation left me slumped to the ground. My hands were sore with blisters, my fingernails cracked and bleeding. The physical pain was masked by emotional pain, as I forced myself to stop being weak.
I'm just so damn tired.
I'm an idiot, now that I think about it.
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
As though I could see your face
Act 1
You hastily stand up, so does your partner. Although the air-conditionals are turned on to full blast, the few of us are perspiring hard; probably due to the fact that we arrived late from gym. I, as usual, take a head-count and sigh. 'Six,' I think to myself. "We're short of one," I announce, remarking the obvious. They nod their heads in unison and in synch, we turn to you. Scratch that. They turn to you. I stubbornly looked away, searching the class for another option. After all, we couldn't seperate you, right? She gestures towards you and you whip your head away from us, squatting down while she smiled sheepishly.
As though I could see your face, I knew that disappointment would be one of the emotions painted there.
Act 2
I talk into the phone, try to end the conversation, before casually taking a peek at you. You were balancing your head on your fist, looking extremely bored. I shift my gaze back immediately to prevent suspicion, and laugh, catching up with the conversation that I never participated in. I twist my hair in a very unnatural way, nod blankly, trying to be absorbed in the uninteresting chatter of words that passed around us. I shift the sling of my bag up my shoulder for more comfort and place a fist to my chest, my other hand clutching onto my mobile phone. And then she smiles, nudging me.
As though I could see your face, the thought of you anticipating me, waiting for me, made me nervous. It was an absurd idea, something so tall. I felt my heart pumping anxiously, with every of its beat followed along numbness. It was something that would only occur in a moment, that flying moment, with numbness, your brain stops functioning; You could only do everything based on instinct.
I allow myself to be pushed, but not without scowling at her. I lower my head, skipping towards you. Lifting my fist to bang on the glass to catch your attention, I realise that you have been watching. Stunned, I take a step back, trying to smile as I wave and point to myself then to the gate. You nod and waved back. I turned away and hurriedly walk past them, waving.
As though I could see your face, I could vividly sketch you out, with raised eyebrows-- using a thin pencil-- and sparkling eyes-- best with different types of pencil, or the way and weight used on the pencil to emphasise a difference, naturally with double eyelids or a single line below the eyes-- filled with amusement.
You hastily stand up, so does your partner. Although the air-conditionals are turned on to full blast, the few of us are perspiring hard; probably due to the fact that we arrived late from gym. I, as usual, take a head-count and sigh. 'Six,' I think to myself. "We're short of one," I announce, remarking the obvious. They nod their heads in unison and in synch, we turn to you. Scratch that. They turn to you. I stubbornly looked away, searching the class for another option. After all, we couldn't seperate you, right? She gestures towards you and you whip your head away from us, squatting down while she smiled sheepishly.
As though I could see your face, I knew that disappointment would be one of the emotions painted there.
Act 2
I talk into the phone, try to end the conversation, before casually taking a peek at you. You were balancing your head on your fist, looking extremely bored. I shift my gaze back immediately to prevent suspicion, and laugh, catching up with the conversation that I never participated in. I twist my hair in a very unnatural way, nod blankly, trying to be absorbed in the uninteresting chatter of words that passed around us. I shift the sling of my bag up my shoulder for more comfort and place a fist to my chest, my other hand clutching onto my mobile phone. And then she smiles, nudging me.
As though I could see your face, the thought of you anticipating me, waiting for me, made me nervous. It was an absurd idea, something so tall. I felt my heart pumping anxiously, with every of its beat followed along numbness. It was something that would only occur in a moment, that flying moment, with numbness, your brain stops functioning; You could only do everything based on instinct.
I allow myself to be pushed, but not without scowling at her. I lower my head, skipping towards you. Lifting my fist to bang on the glass to catch your attention, I realise that you have been watching. Stunned, I take a step back, trying to smile as I wave and point to myself then to the gate. You nod and waved back. I turned away and hurriedly walk past them, waving.
As though I could see your face, I could vividly sketch you out, with raised eyebrows-- using a thin pencil-- and sparkling eyes-- best with different types of pencil, or the way and weight used on the pencil to emphasise a difference, naturally with double eyelids or a single line below the eyes-- filled with amusement.
Monday, 17 October 2011
Paradise-- Coldplay
I don't know this feeling,
Something so deeply rooted,
So strong and full of life.
Is this paradise?
~~~
"Love, my dear child, love."
I looked up at Grandma, who merely smiled, showing all of her wrinkles. I crinkled my nose but tried to smile too. I sat in Grandma's lap, hugging her back as she patted my head. I could feel the warmth from her body. I looked back at the wooden door and heard Angie's sobs issuing from within. I shook my head and then glanced up at Grandma, who was whistling a tune. Our tune.
I hugged Grandma tighter and breathed in the scent of tomato soup coming from her body. I liked tomato soup. Grandma continued to pat my head and later whispered,
"Andrea, you will know it when you experience it..."
I frowned at her, displaing my cutest pout as I protested. She laughed, and that sound was like those of wind chimes, reverberating in the calm, gentle breeze. Grandma nodded astutely and wagged her index finger. She repeated,'
"You will know it when you experience it..."
Angie came out of the room, her hair tangled and her whole body posture slackened. Her eyes were puffy and red, telling tales of crying. Tear tracks glistened on her cheeks, as she raised a shaky hand to wipe them away. She looked away, embarrassed as she mumbled,
"I'm going to get a drink."
Her voice was not its usual soprano, cheery-like. Instead, she sounded like a thousand-year-old person. What terrified me was the sight of her dulled, hollowed eyes that didn't sparkle as they would usually. She looked nothing but an empty shell, hope escaping through the cracks, leaving despair to take its place. I shuddered.
Waiting till she was gone, I complained to Grandma,
"If that is love, I don't want it."
Grandma shook her head and lapsed into thoughtful silence.
~~~
But the pain that tortures us,
Alone on a stormy night,
Hurtful words that were flung across the room,
Our anger blinding us.
The terror that made me crumble,
Into tiny bits as I fell.
Is it still paradise?
Is it still paradise?
~~~
"I know it... It's love, isn't it?" I mumbled excitedly, trying not to show my blush.
Angie laughed and patted my head. She nodded, proving me right. My heart leapt. Love! Oh, what a strong and beautiful word that masks the deeper emotion, so fragile. I was dancing then, nature's rhythm of love coarsing through the entire room. Angie chuckled and jumped up to join me, as we twirled.
My bones felt hollowed like a bird's, my feathers tickling me as I giggled childishly. Every twirl only served to make me dizzy, but it was pure ecstacy; I needed to express the excitement, the anticipation in my heart that made me swell with happiness. Love, love, love! What an interesting word it was to me!
I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sunlight, so warm and comforting. The yellow rays turned my hair redish. It was a fairytale, so simple and lasting. Grandma was watching me from the bedroom door, nodding in understanding.
Nothing could go wrong.
~~~
No, of course it could never erase
The existence of our heavenly memories,
Your youthful smile
And my childish giggle.
Your hand in mine,
Under the moonlight,
We twirled and sang
Songs from our hearts,
Lo and behold!
The majestic power of such a simple word and emotion,
'I honour you', alas, you bowed.
'And so they lived happily ever after'.
~~~
And dreamed of
para-para, paradise,
para-para, paradise,
para-para, paradise,
~~~
As such, you enchanted me,
With the thoughts of paradise,
Our love that shone from within,
I was in paradise.
_________________________________________________________________________________
Gosh. I wrote this on a whim. But the song's nice, right? I heard that this MAY be the last album, Mylo Xyloto, but I hope not. :D Oh... I hope this made sense...
Signing off,
Ollie :D
Saturday, 15 October 2011
IPOD Shuffle Quiz :D --Every Teardrop is a Waterfall
IPOD shuffle quizzes!
Rules:
1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! - Editor
1) What is your motto?
Impossible-- Maddi Jane version ... Wow. I never knew I was so pessimistic. *Raises eyebrows*
2) What do your friends think about you?
Viva La Vida-- Coldplay ... So they think me as a king who used to rule the world (heheheh) but then I got dethroned and stuff TT^TT... Anyway, that's my favourite song! Long Live Life! :D
3) What do you think most often?
Collide-- Howie Day ... MY NEXT FAVOURITE SONG! That I often bang into stuff? Well, that's unusual. Also refer to post named Collide.
4) What is 2+2?
World is Mine-- Miku Hatsune ... That's what I'm gonna do if my teacher ever asks me that question. Anyway, that's illogical, but I'm the number one princess in the world! ^^
5) What do you think of your best friend?
Spice! -- Len Kagamine .... nononononononono! That's impossible! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And I don't have a best friend. :D
6) What do you think about the person you like?
If I die young-- The Band Perry ... If I ever die young... But that song's based on the poem, The Lady of Shalott (Or something like that)... Go google it! :D
7) What is your life story?
Melt-- Miku Hatsune ... So I'm melting. I thought I was crumbling like toufu... *Raises eyebrows*
8) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cantarella-- Miku Hatsune and KAITO ... ... Someone who likes another person, then drinks the poison, gets raped... EWW. NO WAY. I'd slice him with a pizza cutter :D
9) What do you think when you see the person you like?
Just the way you are-- Bruno Mars ... Finally, a decent answer. But yeah. I start going all crazy about his smile, eyes, bleh. O.o?
10) What do your parents think of you?
Party Rock Anthem-- By some band. I am too lazy to search. :D ... No. Just no. I can't shuffle.
11) What will you dance at your wedding?
Luka Luka Night Fever-- Megurine Luka ... That's cool! Infect everyone with your deadly disease! MUHAHAH... *cough**hack**wheeze**cough*... *dies* :D
12) What will they play at your funeral?
I refuse (Okotowari shimasu)-- Miku Hatsune ... I REFUSE TO BE DEAD! MUHAHAHA! I'M GETTING OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!!! Maybe not.
13) What is your hobby/interest?
Magnet-- Miku Hatsune and Megurine Luka ... NO! My interest is to get involved in a relationship that is forbidden?... NO.
14) What is your biggest secret?
Too Little Too Late-- Jojo ... My biggest secret is that I got cheated by a guy but then he wants to apologise and stuff?
15) What do you think of your friends?
Apologize-- Onerepublic ... IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE! MUHAHAHA! FACE MY WRATH! ... Illogical.
16) What is the worst thing that could happen?
Jar of Hearts-- Christina Perri ... Umm... The worst thing that could happen is a guy who broke my heart? Nah, maybe when the world runs out of cotton candy.
17) How will you die?
Just A Kiss-- Lady Antebellum ... Wow. I die because my crush gives me a kiss goodnight and I die of heart attack? That is interesting.
18) What is the one thing you will regret?
Enchanted-- Taylor Swift ... I regret meeting you and being enchanted by you? I think I would regret doing this quiz.
19) What makes you laugh?
Fragile Snow-- SF-A2 Miki ... No, it doesn't! It's a nice and soothing song. :D
20) What makes you cry?
Rolling in the deep-- Adele ... Yeah, Adele's music is nice. And the lyrics mean that someone betrayed you. But I don't cry when I listen to it.
21) Will you ever get married?
Set fire to the rain-- Adele ... And get betrayed as the guy runs away... Or maybe I will run away. :D
22) What scares you the most?
Someone like you-- Adele ... HAHAHA. Someone like the person who created this weird quiz...
23) Does anyone like you?
Romeo and Cinderella-- Miku Hatsune ... ooh, sure, just that I kill the person in the end.
24) If you could go back in time, what would change?
Ai Kotoba-- Miku Hatsune ... I would change the fact that someone helped me? Nah, most probably change the presence of examinations.
25) What hurts right now?
Miku's Rain-- Miku Hatsune ... It's a sad song. But it doesn't hurt...
26) What will you post this as?
Every Teardrop is a waterfall --Coldplay ... Sighs. The world would have flooded by then. Still, nice song!
Yours sarcastically,
Ollie :D
Rules:
1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! - Editor
1) What is your motto?
Impossible-- Maddi Jane version ... Wow. I never knew I was so pessimistic. *Raises eyebrows*
2) What do your friends think about you?
Viva La Vida-- Coldplay ... So they think me as a king who used to rule the world (heheheh) but then I got dethroned and stuff TT^TT... Anyway, that's my favourite song! Long Live Life! :D
3) What do you think most often?
Collide-- Howie Day ... MY NEXT FAVOURITE SONG! That I often bang into stuff? Well, that's unusual. Also refer to post named Collide.
4) What is 2+2?
World is Mine-- Miku Hatsune ... That's what I'm gonna do if my teacher ever asks me that question. Anyway, that's illogical, but I'm the number one princess in the world! ^^
5) What do you think of your best friend?
Spice! -- Len Kagamine .... nononononononono! That's impossible! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! And I don't have a best friend. :D
6) What do you think about the person you like?
If I die young-- The Band Perry ... If I ever die young... But that song's based on the poem, The Lady of Shalott (Or something like that)... Go google it! :D
7) What is your life story?
Melt-- Miku Hatsune ... So I'm melting. I thought I was crumbling like toufu... *Raises eyebrows*
8) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Cantarella-- Miku Hatsune and KAITO ... ... Someone who likes another person, then drinks the poison, gets raped... EWW. NO WAY. I'd slice him with a pizza cutter :D
9) What do you think when you see the person you like?
Just the way you are-- Bruno Mars ... Finally, a decent answer. But yeah. I start going all crazy about his smile, eyes, bleh. O.o?
10) What do your parents think of you?
Party Rock Anthem-- By some band. I am too lazy to search. :D ... No. Just no. I can't shuffle.
11) What will you dance at your wedding?
Luka Luka Night Fever-- Megurine Luka ... That's cool! Infect everyone with your deadly disease! MUHAHAH... *cough**hack**wheeze**cough*... *dies* :D
12) What will they play at your funeral?
I refuse (Okotowari shimasu)-- Miku Hatsune ... I REFUSE TO BE DEAD! MUHAHAHA! I'M GETTING OUT OF THE COFFIN!!!!! Maybe not.
13) What is your hobby/interest?
Magnet-- Miku Hatsune and Megurine Luka ... NO! My interest is to get involved in a relationship that is forbidden?... NO.
14) What is your biggest secret?
Too Little Too Late-- Jojo ... My biggest secret is that I got cheated by a guy but then he wants to apologise and stuff?
15) What do you think of your friends?
Apologize-- Onerepublic ... IT'S TOO LATE TO APOLOGIZE! MUHAHAHA! FACE MY WRATH! ... Illogical.
16) What is the worst thing that could happen?
Jar of Hearts-- Christina Perri ... Umm... The worst thing that could happen is a guy who broke my heart? Nah, maybe when the world runs out of cotton candy.
17) How will you die?
Just A Kiss-- Lady Antebellum ... Wow. I die because my crush gives me a kiss goodnight and I die of heart attack? That is interesting.
18) What is the one thing you will regret?
Enchanted-- Taylor Swift ... I regret meeting you and being enchanted by you? I think I would regret doing this quiz.
19) What makes you laugh?
Fragile Snow-- SF-A2 Miki ... No, it doesn't! It's a nice and soothing song. :D
20) What makes you cry?
Rolling in the deep-- Adele ... Yeah, Adele's music is nice. And the lyrics mean that someone betrayed you. But I don't cry when I listen to it.
21) Will you ever get married?
Set fire to the rain-- Adele ... And get betrayed as the guy runs away... Or maybe I will run away. :D
22) What scares you the most?
Someone like you-- Adele ... HAHAHA. Someone like the person who created this weird quiz...
23) Does anyone like you?
Romeo and Cinderella-- Miku Hatsune ... ooh, sure, just that I kill the person in the end.
24) If you could go back in time, what would change?
Ai Kotoba-- Miku Hatsune ... I would change the fact that someone helped me? Nah, most probably change the presence of examinations.
25) What hurts right now?
Miku's Rain-- Miku Hatsune ... It's a sad song. But it doesn't hurt...
26) What will you post this as?
Every Teardrop is a waterfall --Coldplay ... Sighs. The world would have flooded by then. Still, nice song!
Yours sarcastically,
Ollie :D
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
11 October 2011
Sigh. What am I doing? I have totally no idea at all. It kind of bugs me, how I should be feeling sad, but I feel numbed anyway. Maybe I have mastered the art of numbing my feelings. :D
I stare at your back for a long time, wishing, hoping with all my heart that I would just be able to catch sight of you. Stalker-like much, no? Well, back to the point. I stare again, this time, tilting my head slightly downwards and pretending to be engaged in the phone conversation. I look up and see you staring. Right in front of you is another friend. She smiles and I too smile aimlessly back, not sure if I'm smiling to you or her. I fold my other arm across my stomach, still hesitating as I press the phone closer to my ear, ignoring the irritating buzzing sound that meant that it was still dialing. I get distracted for a while, trying not to think about you. I look up and see that you have disappeared from my point of view. I speak carelessly into the phone, murmuring the usual phrase; "Are you picking me up? No? Okay, I'll go home by myself."
The other friend bids you goodbye, looking very enthusiastic and waving happily, giggling. I sigh, still hesitating. The truth is that I don't know how to face you yet, since we haven't really been on speaking terms these days. You are leaving, and you turn back to wave once more. I bite my lip and hesitate, before raising a shaking hand and somewhat waving you goodbye. I turn to leave, trying not to trip over all the bags. On my way out, I hope you weren't somewhat offended by my attitude. The fact was that I didn't know how to face you, since we rarely had any topics to talk about and the only exchange that we had was just a smile when you turned back. My smile was confused and hurt, but I didn't know. You pressed your lips into a single line, looking as though you were smiling, but I didn't know. You turned back away and I can finally breathe.
I should be more sociable, more friendly, since this is our last year and the last time to create more memories. But being like a Cancer, I was just too hesitant, too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again. So like the coward I was, I merely glanced out of my protective windows, hugging my plushie tight to my chest, to cover up the hole that had been burnt there.
I'm scared; I really want you to know my thoughts, but I'm afraid you would be disgusted, or even hate me. So I'm trying to seal up the cracked windows with wooden boards, locking myself in my fortress, free from sadness and disappointment, but also pushing out happiness and excitement.
I like to write in present tense, even though it isn't grammatically right. So there :D That was such a touching story, something I think I can relate to at certain points. Taken from parts of my dream and mixed up with reality and a dab of my imagination. But seriously, most of it is real.
I stare at your back for a long time, wishing, hoping with all my heart that I would just be able to catch sight of you. Stalker-like much, no? Well, back to the point. I stare again, this time, tilting my head slightly downwards and pretending to be engaged in the phone conversation. I look up and see you staring. Right in front of you is another friend. She smiles and I too smile aimlessly back, not sure if I'm smiling to you or her. I fold my other arm across my stomach, still hesitating as I press the phone closer to my ear, ignoring the irritating buzzing sound that meant that it was still dialing. I get distracted for a while, trying not to think about you. I look up and see that you have disappeared from my point of view. I speak carelessly into the phone, murmuring the usual phrase; "Are you picking me up? No? Okay, I'll go home by myself."
The other friend bids you goodbye, looking very enthusiastic and waving happily, giggling. I sigh, still hesitating. The truth is that I don't know how to face you yet, since we haven't really been on speaking terms these days. You are leaving, and you turn back to wave once more. I bite my lip and hesitate, before raising a shaking hand and somewhat waving you goodbye. I turn to leave, trying not to trip over all the bags. On my way out, I hope you weren't somewhat offended by my attitude. The fact was that I didn't know how to face you, since we rarely had any topics to talk about and the only exchange that we had was just a smile when you turned back. My smile was confused and hurt, but I didn't know. You pressed your lips into a single line, looking as though you were smiling, but I didn't know. You turned back away and I can finally breathe.
I should be more sociable, more friendly, since this is our last year and the last time to create more memories. But being like a Cancer, I was just too hesitant, too afraid. I didn't want to get hurt again. So like the coward I was, I merely glanced out of my protective windows, hugging my plushie tight to my chest, to cover up the hole that had been burnt there.
I'm scared; I really want you to know my thoughts, but I'm afraid you would be disgusted, or even hate me. So I'm trying to seal up the cracked windows with wooden boards, locking myself in my fortress, free from sadness and disappointment, but also pushing out happiness and excitement.
I like to write in present tense, even though it isn't grammatically right. So there :D That was such a touching story, something I think I can relate to at certain points. Taken from parts of my dream and mixed up with reality and a dab of my imagination. But seriously, most of it is real.
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