My P6 class is planning a party.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I should react:

• happy, because I would get to see some close friends.
• torn, because there are many people I won't want to see.
• cynical, because this really seems just another one of their attempts to be more inclusive. I'll tell you what. It won't. There'll be cliques all around, it won't be a class party. And who's going to be planning it? Are they going to just talk about it for fun and do nothing? 
• Rolls eyes, because not everyone will be going.

I don't know. 

Although I've said that I intensely dislike my P6 class, I did like it at one time. Class pride, that was. At least I had that. Idek. But we weren't that close. I bet they still think I'm a quiet, thoughtful girl who's very nice and will sacrifice herself for almost anything.

Ouch. Almost everything was true. I guess. I'm definitely not going. I don't care. 

Okay, maybe I'm hesitating. I guess.

I'm not comfortable with most of them. 

Besides, Faye-Anne's in America. D:

And I don't want to embarrass myself in front of them. I'll probably be alone, again, with a few close friends by my side and sitting there and stoning like that last class party except I was helping out.

Besides, we'll probably be awkward around. One year without contact, of course we'd have nothing to talk about. But I really want to show them I've changed. I'll wear the same clothes. Idek. It sounds childish. Yep. Childish. 

Siiigggghhh.

Some of them were nice. I don't know. There was a nice person. She was loud and about. But she was nice. I guess. And she called me 'bluebird' all day long.

...

Ah well.

POTATO'D.

they're all having nice social lives while I am here derping why this is unfaaaair.

Very unfair.

Extremely unfair.

What can I say.

Anyway. I wrote the first entry for the Discovery Journal Writing.

And I realised how restricted the prompts were. Okay. I was already complaining about it a loooong time ago. The book I'm doing is Never Let Me Go by K. Ishiguro. The starting is interesting enough but I haaaate the prompts.

Why.

I can barely write something out of them. I think Miss Lim won't mind, right? I hope so.

I should try writing a poem, but I don't want to. But recently, there's an idea about writing a book about a fictional character who falls in love with the reader.

That, my friend, is amazing. It would be beautiful. I'm not sure. I should, right? At the same time, I really should finish my other works.

...

Sigh. And Project Jannock. 

BUT OH HEY I'M GOING OUT TO HAVE A LIFE WITH RACHEL :D We're going to go iceskating. Can you imagine?

Potato: on ice.

...

Like Disney: on ice, you know.

And I really should find the poetry transcript for Surburbia so I can practice it every day and suddenly burst out into it for the fun of it because it would sound so pretty  look at it.

And on Friday, I'm going back to school WHEE to get the prize for the SPH competition! I'm so glad we got Merit :D We could have gotten a writing award, too. But I guess, it's a good start! :D And of course, I'm just going to the school library for the sake of it.

I miss wearing the RGPS pinafore.

Sigh.

Oh well.

...

WAIT TODAY IS WEDNESDAY WHAT