"Ollie... If you could transfer now to [inserts previous school of choice], would you?"

I was asked this question. How can you expect me to give up on this now, just when I've been working so hard to keep myself together and make new friends? Just when everything starts to feel right on track again, just when I'm convinced this is where I'm going to be. You plant the seed of doubt right in my mind, I try digging for it, trying to shove it out. Oh, but no. I shoot you an annoyed look. You don't notice it [or were you pretending?].

How can you even suggest that, just when I'm starting out, carving a new path for myself. We've gone through this so many times. And you always forget Like usual. I roll my eyes. I've taken the time and effort to remember people's names, what they like and all those details of their lives. I've taken myself to accept the reality that I'm just here. And you waver me once more. I ignore you and continue singing along to the song. The conversation has to end here, I shout in my mind.

"Oi!"

I turn to glare at you, putting all my frustration and pain in my expression; I've stuck to this path, so just let me continue and shut up. It's rude, alright, but I need you to know that I'm already here, I'm already somewhere in this school, so just let me live my life. If you had asked me a week ago, the answer would be squealed out with enthusiasm. But now? No.

"No," I emphasise on the word, staring coldly at you meaningfully. "I thought this has already been decided?"

"But you've been so moody lately, so I thought..." you trail off.

I really feel like facepalming myself now, if I don't have the nokia phone in my hands. I sigh loudly in irritation as I push myself further back into the seat, glancing out of the windows.

"I'm moody because I'm tired... so no."

But the act has been done, so I contemplate it for a while, throwing it around in my hands as I frown, exploring the consequences if I did join my previous school of choice. Everything I've struggled to build up.. It would be all gone. New connections would have to be made again from scratch. And when they find out... I shut my eyes firmly, willing the migraine to go away.