Love letters 1

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou.

if only it were this easy to say it out in real life.

stringed together in my bedroom are pictures of you and i. it's still there, awkwardly. even though we've been apart for ages, i can't help but stare lovingly at those memories. fond, old memories.

pictures that are carefully framed and decorated, i gaze at the smiling faces. they contradict the cold war we're having right now. gaze averted, constant twitching of eyes, the need to be away in another room. no apologies are spoken, even as they stir and bubble in my heart, throat, clawing at my delicate resolve be heard; to reverberate throughout the room for you.

pride, it holds us down. i trace your smile, the luscious lips that curve upwards in sheer delight. your eyes are sparkling, wide with euphoria. my arm slouches over your shoulders and we are together, happy and carefree. we are complete.

 how long have you not been like this?

your hair drapes over your shoulders, the sun gingerly picking out the rare red in your hair. the strands glitter coyly and loll around your fingers. look, even they are glinting with excitement. your face glows red, puffing out cheeks adorably. our fingers are intertwined, locked together. forever, forever, they echo sardonically.

singing. dancing. laughing. playing. working. holding hands tightly, sweetly, happily, closely.

 i see the snapshots and they run a loop in my head. i miss everything about you, the slight hesitation, the laughter that never ceases to amaze me and make my heart jump, poundpoundpound.

the ivory skin that drapes carelessly over mine and the endearing pout of your lips. and of course, the emerald eyes that sparkle with hope, faith and love. they pierce through every pounding fibre of me, till they reach my heart. sparks erupt and burn into the skies like a nebula, it makes me dizzy with pleasure. you have chained me up with enchantment, a casual flick of your wrist.

i am afraid to see the coldness in your eyes, hurt and betrayal embedded in them. your aloof attitude and curt remarks. they wash over me in waves of regret, just as your smiles have disappeared from existence. your pupils have narrowed into slits, as you build a barrier around yourself. your trust has snapped, splintered into many fragile pieces. i refuse to pick them up and plaster them back into well-being, looking away. wrecked. torn apart. destroyed, callously, painfully, mercilessly. irretrievable. lost.

i am afraid to look into those hollowed eyes once more.

but for now, i'll push away my fear, my hesitation, hurt and insecurities and just say how much i

lovelovelove you.

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The collection of love letters begins here!

This is just something I dug out. :D

Sigh, sigh, sigh. 

Ollie :D