Musings --Sadly, yes.

Happy leap-year-day.

Sigh, so much to do and yet I'm slacking off. Well, it's my resting period before I put on my armor and charge mindlessly at the stack of homework.

... There's so much to write. For ES, I have to submit either a poem, prose or any other kinds of writing for the Montage edition. And sadly, it will get booted out by the editorial team. Helium's so awesome, she'll get in for sure. It'll be fun to see what she writes. :D

Also, there's this kind of competition thingy that requires us to write, every class has to have two participants. I don't know what to write, and it has to revolve around a certain strange word... That, will be a challenge.

Also the FPSP, it will be interesting, but I am a little afraid of the outcome. Will it work? I mean, it sounds so addictive, yet with a hint of difficulty within. How can I express my character's thoughts when they are muses and when I'm in charge of keeping the secret until the end?

Three writings. Deadlines. Dramatic tension.

... I'll try my best.

Ollie can do it! ^^

Tears that glint

At the end of every tunnel, there will be a light.
Ollie believes in that, strongly.
Even though she still understands the cruel reality of life.

It pounds through her head
a chant, a mantra
something not easily forgotten

and the shame of all those memories creep
up, gliding their cool fingers up and down your arms
they chuckle, don't you remember?


The beauty of ignorance is not to be underestimated
but truth is always so eagerly chased by
withering, wild flowers whose petals crease

Ollie is certain.
it sounds cheesy but to seek the truth
ain't it our hearts' greatest desire?

Ollie believes in the truth
no matter how tarnished and fractured
she will piece them all up together.

they will reflect her ghastly scars
that mar her arms
etching a deep sin of unforgivable misery down into her bones.

Stay strong, light the fire.
i will be there.
we will be there.

almost burning out,
not quite so; shadows that thaw in the blistering sunlight.
the rays falter a little, only to glint brighter.

don't tears, too?
even within those salty droplets
they sparkle; a new beginning, a ray of rainbow.

'everyone wants happiness, nobody wants pain
but you can't have a rainbow 
without a little rain.'


Stay firm,
grin cheesily
fear not fear itself

stand tall
shine bright
even tears will glint with delight

for sanity, it is a curse upon
fools that stick together with vanity and pride
stumbling upon their confusions and conflicting statements.

Ollie knows, she whispers childishly.
Ollie will not give up,
for it is useless and time-consuming in this short life

she grins and skips away
her head in a tilting position
and she mouths, ain't that the truth?


_________________________________________________________________________________


I believe there will be a second part to this. :D

Gallows Bell Music Box :)

Ah, so endearing. Sweet and calming, yet it makes me want to cry.

It's so innocent~

But it's about this guy who's going to end the girl's life, with his own hands.

The girl forgives him many times,

but he still can't forgive himself, 

instead turning to suicide. TT^TT

How sad. 

Sigh, I just love Len and Miku~

What was that?

... T.T;;

Ollie :D

Musings -- there are some kind people in the world, after all.

:)
Alerted them of a missing thumb drive and people from different levels replied.
It was just a small message from a junior, someone they didn't even know, yet they still replied.

Dear Ollie...

It was endearing and yet so cute.
To be serious, I didn't expect them to actually answer. :)

What the fish is Euler's number? I can't believe it actually exists.
Ha. :)
and i is an imaginary number.
1 is the first number for most sequences...
0 is the first non positive whole number.
Pi is an irrational number and people celebrate Pi day.
e... is an irrational periodic number.

I still don't get it... TT^TT

Caught

Is this farewell?
She sings out a scratchy note,
scratching her head, nonplussed.
it is the truth;
for no other note could ever replace this one.
yet so fragile, it gets clasped in her throat,
the scars opening up,
red scarlet running through her fingers
while they anxiously comb through her hair.
it is dangerous, devastating and enchanting.
it feels almost a sin to divert her attention.
dust, thick and lazy, streams about her in a quiver.
the cobwebs are torn apart (mercilessly and callously).
she coughs out the waxy liquid
as they litter her body with frantic kisses.
desire, almost lust.
she can no longer run away.
hold her breath, hold her breath.
it steals her heart away and she gasps.
gasps.
This, is the end.

Spun into a web of lies,
conflicting unimaginable elements that matched so well
it keeps the light at bay,
she spreads the jam evenly over the surface,
grins and the magic is cast.
already told, the tales of her tears.
legends, myths.
they whisper conspiratorially with an exaggerated wink.
the cowering figures hide in the corner.
guilt touches them with her presence,
giggling innocently (but not quite so, not quite so)
gracing their ripped conscience
as she bows in mock-honour.
this is no place for you. come with me.
come with me.
she lights the spark with promises
wildly beyond their greatest passions.
sarcasm sidles itself comfortably along the words that drop from her lips.
it coils like a snake around them, hissing politely.
ignorance, greed blinds them.
doom, is all their futures spell out.

don't.
don't.
don't.
don't.
DON'T!
... you could have just listened.
__________________________________________________________________________________


This is the full version of 'Caught'. :D
Wrote it on a whim. :D

Ollie

Hello, how are you?

Hello, how are you?
It seems really tiring, trying to catch some sleep on the bus (while standing) and trying not to fall.
Amazingly, just before cca, I stood at the parapet, feeling the rain beat across my face and body.
And I just stood there, sorta dazed by the beauty.
And then inspiration just hit me. It was only a slight flurry of rain, not heavy. The sky was rather bright and I wondered lightly, if there would be a rainbow. :)
It was cold inside the conference room. Like, freakishly cold. We had activities which were rather weird and I mused lightly at why there should be ccas and all. Seems kinda out of point. I mean, organising all those competitions when no one is going to participate willingly?

But I'll try my best to enthrall my class.

I suddenly feel as though a weight has been raised from my shoulders, before doubling the effect, making me slouch and groan under the pressure.
Art was horrid, yet so funny. It was just so funny to hear Joanna exclaim some really (in my mind) perverse words without-- well, she is kinda naive and innocent. I feel so bad for corrupting her now.

Y'know, it's impossible to read the same book over and over again without realising a few points. I drummed my fingers against the table, humming a tune lightly. It's a habit I can't get rid of (or won't?) Because it just seems so attention demanding even though I was merely bored. Sometimes I feel so fake, so--what's that word again? I'll get back to it anyway. It's as though I hate maintaining eye contact with certain people, because their bluntness and intelligence make me fear that they can see me through; those careless tugs on my skirt and flipping of hair, before decreeing that I am so unnatural.

And it just gets worse because I know I just don't belong anywhere.

And I'm just so tired.

Ollie

give me something that'll haunt me

she, was simple.
she wanted something so innocent, he couldn't resist.
pointing at the piece of paper, she cried out in her soprano.
he retrieved it for her.

the beginning of a bond.

it is raining,
the thunder wrecking all of her peace as she cowers in a corner.
he arrives in time to comfort her.
and she grabs the warmth without hesitation.

we'll just have to watch and wait.

the desires she craved,
presented in front of her.
her humble servant bowed.
and she felt the world.

he was the world to her.

but as she grew,
lusting for more,
her insatiable diet for everything
she yearned to possess.

just as she was to him.

to feel the sheer feathery weight on her fingers,
silk dancing around her flawless complexion
and gold that cupped her fingers
with respect and awe.

but she owned the world.

nothing was ever enough;
it grew, the monstrous want.
demands that he couldn't satisfy,
uttered from her perfect lips.

and of course, she owned him.

she wanted the stars,
so he gave her his eyes.
the bright wondrous sparkle of hope within them.
they shone, like the stars.

and she flung them aside.

she wanted ability, talent.
so he gave her his limbs.
they crafted meticulously,
in process of building the demon within her, unconsciously.

but she scowled.

she wanted recognition,
so he gave her his smile.
one that she used to delight in,
something that pieced together her broken soul.

yet she still wasn't satisfied.

she wanted more, more.
yet it was only his soul that was left.
without hesitation, he delivered it to her.
she stared in awe.

but rejected it.

his heart, still pulsing.
his mind, still whirling.
his soul, broken.
as his sanity flew out of the window.

he, was eternally bonded to her.
i, am your master.
and you are of course, nothing.
nothing but entertainment.  

__________________________________________________________________________________

Wow. How sad.
TT^TT poor 'he'.
inspired by Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift.
angst. angst.

Ollie

What is a song to you?

我真的，好想为你唱一首歌曲。

I really want to sing for you.

似乎，如果不唱出爱情的曲子，就会很痛苦。

It's almost as though not confessing will leave me in pain.

但，又一点儿害怕被拒绝。

And the fear of rejection that pricks my skin.

只好，憋住，忍着，把它困在心中。

I'll just have to keep it within my heart.

远远地爱着你。

And love you from afar.

KYAH! It's like, almost every single post has to have some Chinese in it! I, am suffering. From an acute loss of ENGLISH!!!! I know it sounds so weird and wrong... But still...

AND WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT MY CHINESE IS HORRIBLE~

TT^TT sighs. 

Listening to Packaged by Hatsune Miku, remembers chat with Mantou.

Mantou's so cute!

But sad as well. Just as I am. And you know what?

She reminds me of all the 全家福 ppl mixed into one. 

I see F-A's sadness within her.

I see Egg's sarcasm within her.

I see Ken's gracefulness.

I see Brigitte's cool attitude in her.

I see RT's sheepish smile.

I see Nut's maturity within her.

I see Phoebe's hesitation within her.

And of course, Char's C-pop fangirling inside her.

It feels quite wrong; why am I replacing all of them with her?

And now I'm presented with the choice to form another family portrait. 

I don't want to let go.

But it's really, silly to keep hanging on.

Should I?

songs. words. meanings. love. emotions. catchy. related. messages. melody.
ah. keep. it. there. and. start. the. spark. for. me.
can. you. hear. the. melody. i've. been. singing. out.?. does. it. reach. you.?.